My Only Hope(Newt x Reader)

8) Mistakes

I was doing my best to get some rest that night, but there was so much going through my mind. Could I really go back into what I don't know? Could I really live with myself if I never got to see the kids or Ms.Cammie again? Was leaving this place truly worth it?

Honestly, I don't think so. Unfortunately, I can't have people stay because of me. They didn't seem like they were kidding.

That's why I didn't tell them that I'm not actually going. When I saw the little ones crying I knew I wasn't going to leave. I'm going to leave them a note, and I'm hiding out a few blocks down. There's an old abandoned cellar that I can stay in.

By the time they wake up I'll be gone.

I pulled the pen and paper out of my hands. I looked down at the crumbled pages that seemed to be judging me. I pushed past it.

Dear random strangers,
It was nice meeting you guys. I truly do wish you luck going forward. I hope you make it there. Live your best lives.

~Y/N

I looked back down at the words. One down, and two to go.

Dear Aris,
I can't go with you. I'm not going to make it out there. You can though. And no. I'm not dead. I'm just staying somewhere around here. You won't find me so don't look for me. Look forward.

~Y/N/N

I was gripping the pen hard enough to turn my knuckles white. I hadn't even realized I was crying until a single tear dripped on the page.

Dear Newt,
I appreciate what you've done for Andrea and Owen. You've met them so you've seen their little hearts shatter into pieces. That's why I'm staying. I'm glad I met you though. I already know you're great.

~Love

I quietly put the papers in their envelopes. Looking back at the strangers, the new friends, and my old one for the last time, I walked out with a heavy heart.

Each step filled me with second thoughts. This could be a new leaf. I could finally live in peace. I could be happy.

That's the problem though.

I can't be happy if I'm leaving the people here behind, and I wouldn't be happy if I stayed and missed the chance to be with my friends. There was no winning. So I'll stick with what I do know. It's just easier.

"Where are you going?"Someone asked when I was inches away from leaving. I already knew who it was

"Nowhere. Go to bed Minho."

"Then, why is all your stuff packed?"He questioned.

"I'm just grabbing some things,"I lied.

"Okay. Then, what were the letters?"

I froze at those words. I'd been caught red handed. There was no covering it up. "I only read the one for random strangers. I figured I should come stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life."

"It's not-"
"Really? Then, why haven't you just left now? You know this place better than anyone. You'd have no problem getting away."

I couldn't help the tears still running down my face. I took my hand and quickly wiped them away. It did nothing as they poured quicker than the rain crashing on the ground.

"You're going to break Aris's heart all over again. He's been miserable the entire time. You'll break Newt's heart too. It's clear you care for them just as much so come back to bed,"He pleaded.

"There are people here I know. I don't want to leave them behind,"I whispered.

"I doubt they'd want you to give up the opportunity to escape this hell. Besides, it's still storming so come inside. Just get some shut eye."