TEXT
K; "Please Stan, I really didn't mean it."
S; "Yes you did Kyle, you did."
K; "Stan.."
S; "NO KYLE! Please just admit that you mean it, it hurts less then hearing you lie to my face. Just go get Tolkien. Its not like I loved you or anything, right?"
K; "Please listen to me."
S; "Fine."
K; "I have had really bad feelings for you ever since fourth grade, so I avoided you after the end of elementary to try and get over it, and then I got to Tolkien. God, I can't believe I'm saying this at all."
S; "Seriously?"
K; "Yes.. I'm sorry if I have made things weird."
S; "Are you joking? This has relieved half of my thoughts, will you be my bf? If that isn't too much.."
K; "Oh Stan.. I'm already in a relationship.. With Tolkien."
There goes all of my leftover hope.
That's it,
I got rejected and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
Of course it's Tolkien. What did I expect? It doesn't mean I don't feel like I've just been stabbed in the heart though. I started to cry again, all of my feelings I felt a moment ago are rushing back to me but 2x as worse. I've ruined absolutely everything between me and Kyle. I hate myself. It would just be better if I was dead. I lay in my bed and sleep, the sleeping was purely to avoid all sorts of reality in that moment.
I 'slept it off' for a month.
Wednesday 6th May 2007
I hear a faint knock at the door, I'm drunk out of my mind and heavily relapsed. I hope it's not Kyle. I walk towards the door that looks like it's moving. I stop for a moment, a long moment, and then I open the door. To my surprise, it's Kyle. He's holding some things. When he sees me he drops the things somewhere on my floor and immediately rushes me down to the bed as he quickly runs downstairs. I can't tell what he's trying to say to me, but he comes back up with water and bandages. He saw me like this.
He pulls up my sleeve extremely gently and starts wrapping it over the wounds with good pressure, I still can't make out what he's trying to say to me. Everything went black for a moment.
It's 8PM. I find myself laying on Kyle's chest, to rest as he has cleaned up a small spill. I can now make up the things that he set down, he got me flowers? What was this for?
"Kyle?" I trailed off.
"Stan! I was worried sick. You weren't responding to any of my texts during the past month!" He urged, obviously very concerned.
"When you told me you were.. Dating someone else, I couldn't handle it. And I avoided reality for a month. I'm so sorry Kyle." I cried, and started to hug him tightly, he hugged back just as tight. No more words needed. He warmly held my head near the bottom of his head.
"I care about you, please remember that." Kyle whispered, loud enough so I could hear him. For 30 minutes, we shared tears before talking. The moment felt so still.
"Stan, do you know why I initially wanted to came over?" He questioned, I didn't answer as I safely assumed it to be rhetorical.
"And why the flowers were there..?" Kyle added on. I look at them before glancing up to him,
"No." I softly answer. I allow him to get up slowly and walk over to the flowers.
"Me and Tolkien lasted a day, I suspected it wouldn't work, this is for you." He admitted to me, I went red and covered my face.
"Does this count.. as your confession?" I ask, he gives me an enchanting smile, I can never get over him.
"I suppose so, do you accept, Stan?" He replied in a soft, pretty voice, now asking me if I wanted to be with him. I answer him with something that shocks him,
But I don't regret it at all.
"I think.. I can love you."
