THROUGH TEXTS
S; Hey Kyle. I heard you weren't okay, are you okay? What's going on?
K; Why do you care?
S; You're my SBF dude, why wouldn't I care?
K; Don't play that lame shit on me Stanley, that was in fourth grade.
S; What the fuck? Kyle you're never like this please talk to me.
K; Fuck you Stan
Well...That didn't work.
I look up from my phone and start to look back in my mind, I wonder what I've ever done wrong, especially to him. What makes him hate me so much? God, I feel so guilty for something I don't even know I did. I sigh once more, and I start to tear up. The tears run down my face, I look back down at the words "Fuck you Stan" and I feel a pang of guilt in my stomach, It feels like I just got kicked there. We didn't last like I said we would. I promised Kyle to stay throughout all of it, all of life. I guess that didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I now realise I felt something stronger than just a strong liking for Kyle. I loved that boy, his red curly hair, his bright, emerald green eyes, each of the freckles on his face, the way his nose was shaped. All of it. I didn't just like him, I have a crush on him, on my ex SBF. Lord, what am I going to do?
THROUGH TEXT
S; Hey, Wendy?
W; What's going on stan?
S; I am sorry. I think we should break up, I mean, I don't feel any attraction to you anymore. I found out I like Kyle. I'm sorry.
W; totally
S; thanks
I hope she doesn't hate me,
but it was for the best. I look at mine and Kyle's messages once more, I seem to have missed a message. I hopefully looked at the message.
The message read:
"Hey, Stan. I'm so sorry. There's a reason I've been avoiding you like this. You've done nothing wrong, please forgive me, okay?"
I start to gain hope again as I instantly start typing a reply to his message,
"Kyle, I was so confused. Please please talk to me. I'm still a little confused and I care, please. You have nothing to be sorry for, you were just speaking what you thought."
I hope that was good enough at least.
I patiently wait for a reply from him, I overthink every little outcome from this possible conversation. I'm so confused. Why is this happening? Its all happening so god damn quick my trails of thought are too loud. I hope he leaves Tolkien,
is that too cruel to ask?
I realise that I'm crying even more at my phone, it's not a quiet sob anymore, I'm sobbing ugly. What happens next? Will me and Kyle ever last again? Am I overreacting? Is this a dream? I have so many questions. I them get a notification. From Kyle.
I dread reading this message in case I get heartbroken again.
This time, the message said:
"I hope this isn't too weird, but I've been crushing on Tolkien for ages and I found out you had a crush on me and I felt so weird, I'm sorry that it felt that way. Please don't feel that way about me. I hope it isn't true."
At that moment, my heart completely stops.
Was this it?
Did I just get cold-heartedly rejected?
"Hold on, youre not responding...You do like me? Oh Jesus I meant that as a joke I swear! Please please please don't take that as rejection."
I ignore the message, I didn't even notice it come through under all the crying I was doing.
"Stan? I'm sorry please."
I finally respond to Kyle.
"So you're saying you don't like me? Is that what this is? Please just get it over with."
I feel like shit. Is this supposed to happen?
He doesn't reply.
This IS it.
I'm done with him,
and it wasn't even by choice.
