Our Romeo and Juliet Story

Scene one

Romeo enters.

Romeo - Can I go away while my heart stays here? I have to go back to where my heart is.

Romeo moves away. Benvolio and Mercutio enter.

Benvolio - (calling) Romeo, my cousin, Romeo, Romeo!

Mercutio - He's a smart boy. I bet he slipped away and went home to bed.

Benvolio - He ran this way and jumped over this orchard wall. Call to him, Mercutio.

Mercutio - I'll conjure him as if I were summoning a spmt. Romeo! Madman! Passion! Lover! Show yourself in the form of a sigh. Speak one rhyme, and I'll be satisfied. Just cry out, "Ah me!" Just say "love" and "dove." Say just one lovely word to my good friend Venus. Just say the nickname of her blind son Cupid, the one who shot arrows so well in the old story. Romeo doesn't hear me. He doesn't stir. He doesn't move. The silly ape is dead, but I must make him appear. I summon you by Rosaline's bright eyes, by her high forehead and her red lips, by her fine feet, by her straight legs, by her trembling thighs, and by the regions right next to her thighs. In the name of all of these things, I command you to appear before us in your true form.

Benvolio - If he hears you, you'll make him angry.

Mercutio - What I'm saying can't anger him. He would be angry if I summoned a strange spirit for her to have sex with that's what would make him angry. The things I'm saying are fair and honest. All I'm doing is saying the name of the woman he loves to lure him out of the darkness.

Benvolio - Come on. He's hidden behind these trees to keep the night company. His love is blind, so it belongs in the dark.

Mercutio - If love is blind, it can't hit the target. Now he'll sit under a medlar tree and wish his mistress were one of those fruits that look like female genitalia. Oh Romeo, I wish she were an open-arse, and you a Popperin pear to "pop her in." Good night, Romeo. I'll go to my little trundle bed. This open field is too cold a place for me to sleep. (to Benvolio) Come on, should we go?

Benvolio - Let's go. There's no point in looking for him if he

doesn't want to be found .

Benvolio and Mercutio exit.