Our Romeo and Juliet Story

Scene one

Sampson - Gregory, I swear, we can't let them humiliate us. We won't take their garbage.

Gregory - (Teasing Sampson) No, because then we'd be garbagemen.

Sampson - What I mean is, if they make us angry we'll pull out our swords.

Gregory - Maybe you should focus on pulling yourself out of trouble, Sampson.

Sampson - I hit hard when I'm angry.

Gregory - But it's hard to make you angry.

Sampson - One of those dogs from the Montague house can make me angry.

Gregory - Angry enough to run away. You won't stand and fight.

Sampson - A dog from that house will make me angry enough to take a stand. If I pass one of them on the street, I'll take the side closer to the wall and let him walk in the gutter.

Gregory - The means you're the weak one, because weaklings get pushed up against the wall.

Sampson - You're right. That's why girls get pushed against walls – they're weak. So what I'll do is push the Montague men into the street and the Montague women up against the wall.

Gregory - The fight is between our masters, and we men who work for them.

Sampson - It's all the same. I'll be a harsh master to them. After I fight the men, I'll be nice to the women – I'll cut off their heads.

Gregory - Cut off their heads? You mean their maidenheads?

Sampson - Cut off their heads, take their maidenheads-whatever. Take my remark in whichever sense you like.

Gregory - The women you rape are the ones who'll have to "sense" it.

Sampson - They'll feel me as long as I can keep an erection. Everybody knows I'm a nice piece of flesh.

Gregory - It's a good thing you're not a piece of fish. You're dried and shriveled like salted fish.

Abram enters.

Gregory - Pull out your tool now. These guys are from the house of Montague.

Sampson - Pull out your tool now. These guys are from the house of Montague.

Gregory - How will you back me up-by turning your back and running away?

Sampson - Don't worry about me.

Gregory - No, really. I am worried about you!

Sampson - Let's not break the law by starting a fight. Let them start something.

Gregory - I'll frown at them as they pass by, and they can react however they want.

Sampson - You mean however they dare. I'll bite my thumb at them. That's an insult, and if they let me get away with it they'll be dishonored.

Sampson bites his thumb.

Abram - Hey, are you biting your thumb at us?

Sampson - I'm biting my thumb.

Abram - Are you biting your thumb at us?

Sampson - (Aside to Gregory) Is the law on our side if I say yes?

Gregory - (Aside to Sampson) No.

Sampson - (To Abram) No, sir, I'm not biting my thumb at you, but I am biting my thumb.