Dysphoria days

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Credits to: Slythery

TRIGGER WARNING THIS ONESHOT DEALS WITH SELF LOATHING, SELF HARM, AND SEVERE DYSPHORIA. PLEASE IMMEDIATELY LEAVE IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ANY TOPICS PRESENTED HERE!!!!

The day started as it often would, awaking to the barely rising dawn, Thing still asleep on their side table as they rose from the bed, stepping into the floorboards and making their way to the closet. It was Monday, the beginning of the week, they'd get a quad over ice from the cafeteria before going to class. They searched through their closet, picking out the more masculine design of their uniform. Usually, they didn't mind the design of their school outfits, but today, it felt wrong.

They got a binder, dreading when they'd change from their evening wear. They took a stabling breath, forcing themselves to leave the closet and walk to the bathroom with heavy steps. Their body shook at the thought of seeing themselves, they didn't know if they could, not this morning.

They open the bathroom door, shutting their eyes against the tall, glass mirror of the sink in front of them. They set their stuff down, turning to the shower and sticking their head into the parting shield of the plastic material. They hated the texture of plastic, but it was better than dealing with water damage on the floor. They turned the water on, nodding to themselves when the water was a blood chilling cold, they steeled themselves and backed away from the shower, beginning to remove their pajamas.

It hurt to see, the smooth, doll like shape of their legs, pale skin opposing that of their fathers. What they'd give to be like him. To be dashing, strong, capable of protecting what was theirs. To be handsome.

They set the pair of pants down onto the floor, feeling too mentally drained to get a towel for underneath themselves. It was easy in the beginning, to shut their eyes and unbutton the sleeping shirt they wore. Their lips twitched downwards when they finally took it off. They opened their eyes, trying to quickly set the garment on the floor and rush into the shower, but then they caught it. The thing they despised.

Themselves.

They heaved, feeling better physically sick despite nothing in their stomach, the disgusting marks of battle on their abdomen and shoulder. They adored scars, but they hated how in order to see such beautiful things they'd be faced with the disgust of their own chest. It was too large, too shapely and obvious, even with the black, bat decorated binders they wore to hide the evidence of their falsehoods. Saliva and mere bile rose from within them, their throat constricting as they fell to lean against the sink. No, they hated seeing themselves, they hated the mirror. They hated themselves. IT NEEDED TO BE GONE.

The crash hurt their ears, they wondered if it was enough to wake Enid up. But honestly? they didn't care, they just needed it gone, it had to leave. Shards dug into their hand, the fist unfurling and tensing from the pain that shot up their arm. They leaned more against the sink's countertop again, their cut fingers found a giant shard and black eyes narrowed to stare at it. Perfect.

————

Blood dripped from skin as they worked, carefully, precise and wincing at the pain, shakey hands continuing to work despite the shock within their nerves as they cut. The water hid their sounds, their ragged breathing, the almost silent
sobs, Though the shower did nothing for the smell of blood that Enid woke up to. Immediately, she got up, uncaring about the bathroom door as she ran at it, barreling into it with her shoulder. The pelting water made her pause, the scent slowly being washed away, the shaky sillouete, hidden by the plastic water guard.

No-
No-
She acted, the wolf snarling underneath skin.

"Wednesday! Wednesday!? Answer me damn it! we gotta get you to a hospital!"

A gentle weight sagged against Enid as she stuck her head into the shower, Wednesday rested against, a soft, pleased smile on their face.

"Mi amor, I don't understand why you're so worried. I'm perfectly well. Infact, I feel better than I have in years."

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