Ellipsis...

10

    I am at church with my mother and we had just finished our praise and worship. I take my seat and pull out my Bible from my bag. The preacher begins his sermon. He begins off with a joke, one about how he struggled to get his family together for church. It wasn't funny for me. I never find any of his jokes funny. They are all bland and dry with no sense to them. Then he always ends his jokes with a scripture verse that actually has nothing to do with the joke. I have a strong feeling the people laughing at the jokes are being paid to laugh.
          "Let us talk about healing," he says, "What is healing? It is the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again. We can all agree to that, right."
The church mumbles in agreement.
         "I have got a question for you," he continues, "What do you think healing means to Christians? How do we as Christians see the word 'healing'? Healing occurs through the integrating forces that restore, transform, sustain, and nurture the whole person, which are the body, the mind, and the spirit, at each phase and in every dimension of life, and within relationships of the person to the creation, to other people, and to God. Wow! Beautiful, is it not? There are more than 42 verses in the Bible that touches these three aspects of healing. Let us turn to Philippians 4:6-7."
    I flip the pages to Philippians. There it is. my eyes scan the page.
'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.'

    I look up at the preacher as he read the passage. When he finishes, he smiles to himself.
            "When I was in my teens, I think I was about 12 or 13 years old, I lost my little brother," he sits down on the edge of the stage, "We were in Gqeberha, which used to be known as Port Elizabeth, and our parents took us to Kings Beach for a weekend outing. I remember it was an extremely hot day so my brother and I were in the water a lot. My mother called us for lunch and we both ran out. After a while, we went back into the water. The day had come to an end and it was time to go home, but my brother was nowhere to be found. Long story short, we found him down the far side of the beach unconscious. We took him to the hospital and he was pronounced dead. The cause of his death was drowning, but we also found out he was stung by a blue bottle jellyfish. Our theory was that he was deep in the water, the jellyfish stung him and he was in too much pain to be able to swim back."
      I rest my hand on my chest in shock.
          "For many months I was in mourning, wishing for him to come back, but I knew he was gone. I blamed myself for not being there for him and for leaving him on his own. But for some reason, I never blamed God for his death. I could never blame the Almighty because I had no power over Him. So it was useless putting all the stress on Him. I went to church one day and the preacher there walks up to me and he says he can sense sadness and loss in me. I was astounded by this. I didn't even tell him anything about myself but he knew what I was going through. So we had a conversation and then he pulls the verse Revelations 21:4, which says 'He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.' 
         "Since that day, I have never felt more grateful and never more proud to know God has always been on my side and will always be. I was healed through His word and I knew he was never going to stop. He is never going to stop being there for me and that won't change for you as well, because He is always on your side."
     The church begins to cheer.
         "Just know that whatever you have been through or whatever you have done, that doesn't stop God from loving you. Remember, He sent His only son for us to heal us all. He knew that this world was never going to accept his son, but He had a plan for us and it was a marvelous plan. It was a plan to heal us all in his mercy. This plan brought many people to the Almighty. It brought people to Jehovah and it has made His. Their kingdom wholesome."
     The church shouts with praise. My mother is screaming with tears running down her face.
I sink into my seat. I feel like he was talking directly to me. He keeps eyeing me as he preaches like he knew what I was going through. The room became increasingly loud. Women started to cry all of a sudden and men were shouting. Mama started to jump.
I grab my bag, stood up, and walk to the exit.

I walk over to a tree in the parking area but I notice someone sitting on a rock. It is a small boy, sulking and covering his head in his arms. I decide to walk over to him and tap on his shoulder. He looks up and I immediately recognize him as Mpu, the kid that Thabang bullied.
         "Can I help you?" he asks.
    I smile and sit down next to me, "The church is too loud so I wanted to come outside for some peace." I say, "You're outside for the same reason, right?."
    He shakes his head, "I just don't like being here." he says.
          "Why?"
          "Please leave me alone," he mumbles.
I freeze in my position knowing that I won't move.
          "I'm sorry, but there is nowhere else to go," I say and move closer to him, "So I guess you're stuck with me."
   He moves away from me.
This kid is tough.
         "Hey, um..." I slowly begin a conversation, "How do you feel?"
         "What?"
         "How do you feel?" I repeat, "After what Thabang did to you at school."
         "Why?!" he starts shouting," Why does everybody keep doing that?"
         "Doing what?" I am confused.
         "Feeling so sympathetic for me like they really care," he says, "You don't know me so why do you keep asking that?"
         "I'm sorry if I have offended-"
         "Sorry doesn't help," he hisses, "It never does. It only makes the person feel better without realizing that I am still hurt. They all think that the word 'sorry' will aid me, but it doesn't. It only makes things worse."
    At this point, I don't know what to say. I can't say anything without him making it seem like it is a bad thing. I really am sorry for him, but after everything he has been through, it must be hard for him to trust anyone.
          "And Thabang," he continues, "Thabang basically ruined my life. I have never gotten the chance to enjoy my first year in high school with him around and my parents don't want to report the situation to the school. Sometimes I just feel like dealing with the matter by making his life horrible. I don't know how, but I want to just ruin his life just like he did to mine."
          "Okay," I eventually speak, "I am sorry for what Thabang has done to you, and I am sorry for feeling pity for you. I honestly cannot hear you talk about doing something horrible to someone's life just because yours is terrible. I wish I could help you in some form or another but I doubt my help would benefit in any way. Enjoy your day then and goodbye."
     I grab my bag and walk back to the church. I feel so guilty.