The Things I Never Did Before

Prologue

Elena's POV

“For the nth time Ms. Almeida, I'm going to tell you that you should stop this,” he run his fingers through his hair, frustrated. “Look at yourself!” he hissed.

I couldn't look at him directly. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I hate it. Ilang beses ko na siyang pinagtaguan, tinanggahin, ni hindi ako nakinig sa kahit na anong sabihin niya. Nagmatigas ako. I'm always saying that ‘It's fine, everything's gonna be alright.’ Even though I know to myself na kahit kailan hindi magiging maayos ang lahat.

He sat beside me, holding my right hand. “Kung nakikita mo lang sarili mo ngayon.” aniya halos maluha na.

“Tito Doc, you know me. . . once I set my mind to that one thing, I'll do my very best to have it, to own it.” I said with confidence after having troubles in breathing.

Tumango-tango siya, “I cannot blame you for this is what you want. But I'm just letting you know that you must treasure every seconds remaining in your life.” he held my hand more tightly, he's willing to convince me to stop this shit I started.

“No.” I said, firmly. “Naumpisahan ko na 'to Tito Doc. This is the least thing I could do for Lolo. All I need is your support and I do understand that you're just concern about my health.” I explained.

Wala na siyang nagawa sa pagmamatigas ko. No one can stop me from doing this. This is what I wanted. Kahit ito na lang sana ay ibigay na nila sakin 'to. Just for my grandfather who passed away.

Nang may pumasok na nurse na may dalang tray ay pumunta kaagad ito kay Tito Doc. “Heto po ang kaniyang gamot.” sabi niya at tumalikod.

Agad naman iyong kinuha ni tito, “Here, drink this.” Inabot niya sa akin ang gamot at mabilis ko naman iyon ininom. “Matulog ka na muna at magpahinga. We'll talk about this later.”

Tumango ako sa kaniya at umayos ng pagkakahiga. I can feel my head turning after drinking the medicine. Maybe side effects? I don't like the feeling pero ramdam ko ang pagbigat ng aking mga mata.

”Alam mo 'to, aren't you?” rinig ko ang boses ni tito.

“Yes po, Ele told me no–”

Wait sinong kausap niya? Oh God! It's Philip, my manager.

“DAMMIT!” Tito shouted. Hindi na natapos ni Philip ang kaniyang sasabihin sa biglaang pagsigaw ng Tito ko. “You should've stop her!”

Dahan dahan kong minulat ang aking mga mata. Napakurap ako ng dalawang beses. Hindi sila gaano kalayo sakin pero sapat iyong hindi nila makitang gising na ako.

“Mas lalong lumalala ang sakit niya, Philip.” halos pabulong na sabi ni Tito Doc.

Mariin akong napapikit.

Nakita kong napatakip siya ng bibig, “Can we talk outside po? She's taking a rest and she might wake up anytime soon.” aniya.

“No. You can talk here.” Marahan kong sabi.

"OH JESUS YOU'RE AWAKE!” Philip exclaimed. Agad siyang pumunta sa higaan ko saka ako niyakap. Napangiti ako.

Sumunod naman sa kaniyang likod si Tito. He cleared his throat. Napatingin kami sa kaniya ni Philip. Umayos ako ng upon sa tulong ni Philip he then sat beside me while Tito remain standing.

"So, Elena your current state is. . .”

                               -xxx-

“Can you guys leave me alone for a second?” I don't think I can digest what Tito Doc just told me. I cannot breathe. Tila ba may nakabara sa aking lalamunan.

Nang isara nila ang pinto ay unti unting tumulo ang mga luha mula sa aking mata. I can hear my own sobs. Ang sakit, napakasakit. My body felt numb and my eyes are getting wetter.

I don't know what happened after, I just found myself lying in a hospital bed. Lifeless.