The Serene of Hearts

Chapter 29:Isha's Engagement.

My birthday drew nearer and as well as it was the same day of my engagement.Finally,once after the cold and humiliating interaction I had with Vikram,I took a decision which proved my old assumption as a wrong one.

Thankfully,I didn't intend to reveal my mind in front of that arrogant hot headed person.Otherwise he would surely have ruined my whole reputation in front of his women who happened to be Pooja.She was not any less than him,when humiliating people.

Pappa and mumma were not in the hall.Otherwise they would definitely assume something was off with me ,looking at my tear stained face.Opening the door of my room slowly,I closed the door from inside and fell on the floor covering my face with my cold palms.,all the while sobbing silently.

The mere thought of me confronting him in an attempt to get to know what he feels,made me feel disgusting.I made him assume that,I was stepping too low to get to know about his choices.He was right from the very beginning,every time he tries to make me understand for who I am.Blindly I took his patience as advantage and kept on intruding his personal affairs.

I have cried in the middle of the nights,under the showers and while praying to god,ever since his ruthless behaviour came flashing through my eyes.

No matter how much I tried to wipe off the painful memory, his words seem to pierce my soul every time I recall the incident.

I am miserable with you whenever I see you around.Stop nagging me everywhere,as you are not going to get the attention that you so badly crave from me,or even others.

His scrutinizing gaze still bores through my weak heart like an arrow making me feel disgust at my own self.

It was me who took the wrong turn in his direction.It was true that,he saved me that night when I was on the verge of loosing my self respect.I have to admit,he made me feel safe and serene around him,though the thought did not gave me any rights to feel something towards him which I never felt for anyone till now.

I feel ashamed of myself but.. not anymore.To be honest,his outrage today proved me everything,that I was over imagining unwanted things and he was not the right person who was ready to share a life with me.

Vikram was very happy and cool whenever he was around Pooja.In the initial days,I thought she was the only one trying to seek his attention and he was not going to act on it.But deep inside he cares for her.

For my parents sake,all I have to do was to just make them happy and content.I was not going to apologize to him and will never meet up with him anymore.He was just a mere stranger and he will always be one.

One moment he will make me feel safe and the other moment he will leave myself in a vulnerable state.

I was going to confront dad and mom now itself,saying I was okay with the alliance they choose for me.

The impact of a false faith,already made me criticize a person,whom my father choose.Don't know how was I going to confront dad and mom saying,I was okay with the alliance.

How will dad take this and how the guy was going to accept me,even after me comparing him to Vikram.

It was all because of my foolish impressions towards the happenings only.

I didn't know,since how long I have been crying continuously wiping my hot tears furiously.I still couldn't get over the wounds Vikram has caused me.I just couldn't.

I was just angry at myself for bringing me to this extend.I hate myself for having false hopes towards a person who was already someone else's.

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