Random Countryhumans Oneshots

Spain and Portugal visits the British Museum

Ah yes the British museum, a museum where almost, if not all of the artifacts in the said museum are stolen by the one and only; Britain

(Ps. Most of the "artifacts" here are fictional and doesn't exist, like the wooden spoon and the star shaped badge)

Spain and Portugal, two "friends" entered the museum to admire and learn about the (stolen) artifacts and its history, they passed by the mona lisa, "wow, this art is very exquisite, Every stroke of it is consummate, just by a single glance of this picture I can tell Leonardo da Vinci put great effort on this fine art" Spain said mocking a British accent making Portugal burst out laughing "Spain, you failed English class, how'd you learn that shit?" Portugal said while still laughing his ass off "Google, anyways let's go over there!" Spain pointed to a small wooden spoon inside of a glass box

As they walked towards it, Spain suddenly felt guilt, but why tho? Guess we'll find out once he reads the history of it! "This is the wooden spoon used to scoop out a certain Asian country, used by Spain (I think you already know just by the mention of spain) so if you see the country, I guess you'll already know why he's wearing an eye patch"  the text displays, guess that's why Spain felt that "Spain, what did you do to the country we discovered..?" Portugal slowly looks at Spain "I may or may not snapped at him and scooped out his eye out" Spain chuckled as if he didn't just committed child abuse at the past "okay..?" Portugal didn't say anything more and saw another artifact and it's a bolo knife

"This bolo knife is used to stab Spain on both eyes in a war, explains why Spain wears a yellow blindfold" the text displayed "bro what did you do like seriously" at this point, Portugal is pissed off on Spain like didn't Spain promised him to treat the country with respect? "I may or may not made his life a living hell" Spain chuckled again "I swear if I see another one-" Portugal cutted himself off as he sees a pearl necklace "This necklace is an accessory of a certain country's mother that have died in the hands of Spain, to this day; the cries and screams still haunts the country's poor mind" the text displayed "Spain oh my god" Portugal looks at him "you should learn how to control your anger issues what the hell" Portugal continued "C'mon it's an accident" Spain said "I didn't do it on purpose" he continued "okay then..." Portugal then saw a star shaped badge

Portugal went to it then realized; how can Spain know their surroundings when he is wearing a blindfold??? Eh countryhumans logic, Russia can text with a blindfold, Ame wears shades in winter, Tropical countries wear jackets on boiling hot weather, and Cold countries wear revealing clothes in winter, "this star shaped badge is a badge owned by a specific hispanic country as an accessory gifted by Spain" the text displayed "first time you aren't an asshole" Portugal said "what do you mean? I'm nice as hell!" Spain said "no you're not!" Britain in the distance shouted "wait aren't you supposed to be in a hospital?" Spain asked "I was supposed to be released 2 days ago but Ame didn't pay my bills, I only got out because Canada paid for my bills" Britain said "okay?" Spain then went to a painting and just acted like he didn't just ruined an innocent kid's mind (at the past), Portugal saw another artifact and it's an Eye patch "this eye patch is owned by a hispanic country, the country received it as a gift from Spain, also note that the country now doesn't wear an eye patch but he is blind on that eye but it's not obvious" it displays "man who the hell is this country and why are they being treated better than my amado (google translate go brrrrrrr)" Portugal crossed his arms as he sighs, he wants to spoil his friend and give him the life he deserves (in a fatherly way btw) but first he has to deal with Spain and his anger issues if it makes him happy

Let's just say Portugal is now scared of Spain also phil lore and maybe mexico lore