Random Countryhumans Oneshots

Russia(Ukraine actually) bakes a cake

"WASSUP GUYS! IT'S ME! YOUR FAVORITE STREAMER RUSSIA!" Russia greeted the camera "today we are cooking the best cake you have ever seen!" Russia continued "here we have flour, sugar, chocolate and more cake ingredients!" He prepared the things needed in front of the camera and he looks at the camera and smiles "oh and I forgot! We have a guest and it's..." Suddenly Ukraine enters "and I'm the guest" Ukraine waves his hand to the camera "actually it's belar-" before Russia gets to continue his sentence Ukraine cutted him off "no she isn't" Ukraine pulled a middle finger "also we don't need chalk to bake a cake" Ukraine took the chalk and keeps it "yes we need it!" Russia tries to take the chalk but fails

"Now we pour the wate-" "actually the chocolate is fir- wait CHOP THE CHOCOLATE FIRST!" Ukraine wishes he is dead as he stares at his kitchen on fire "Russia why? this is literally my house" Ukraine facepalms "actually it's mi-" Russia gets cut off again "I paid for this house, just face it, you are homeless and I own you" Ukraine points at the Russian "you are my bitch" Ukraine suddenly says "so follow me like the obedient pet you are, you are hopeless without me so it's fair if you become my bitch right~?" Ukraine approaches the Russian "bro this is kinda kinky.. I like it~" Russia approaches the Ukrainian and holds his chin causing Ukraine to kick his nuts "ew what the fuck?!" Ukraine looks down at him in disgust "I was joking" Ukraine starts dialling the police "wait  I was joking too-" suddenly the police enters house and takes Russia away

"Okay guys, Russia went to jail so now I own this twitch account" Ukraine looks at the camera and starts baking a cake using the leftovers and actually, the cake is better than the "cake" Russia baked "now this is my special recipe, if you all don't know; I'm actually a baker" Ukraine says and places the cake in front of the camera and starts putting icing to make it aesthetically pleasing "now I'm finished let's bail Russia out of jail, I don't want dad to kill me for putting his favorite son in jail" Ukraine then finishes the stream to go to the police

"I'm bailing him out of jail" Ukraine places a fuck ton of money, money that can bail EVERY SINGLE PRISONER and still have left over money, man why are countries so rich?! "I'm only bailing out the guy who looks like he is on weed 24/7 except he is actually on weed 24/7" He says and the police came back with Russia and takes the money (but they also gave them change, the police here aren't corrupt like the ones we have irl)

"Uh sorry for acting weird" Russia apologized "yea you should be" Ukraine continued driving and parks in his garage "okay now.. Promise to not say questionable stuff to me?" Ukraine says "or I might as well bring you to jail again" Ukraine continued "promise that I won't be weird I don't wanna go to jail for the 57th time" Russia replies and the both enters the house

They were greeted by a sweet smell of cake "hmmm.. Who baked a cake here? And why is it better than mine?" Russia says and enters the kitchen to see a cake that says "welcome back bitch" "eh?! Who made this?!" Russia immediately goes to the cake to get a slice and bites a piece "this is the best cake ever what the hell!?" Russia eats more of the cake "thanks I baked it" Ukraine says "what?! How??? I thought you don't know how to bake?!" Russia asks "I'm a baker, remember that time to called me a femboy because baking is my hobby? Well look at us now, I'm more masculine than you, you femboy" Ukraine gets himself a piece and eats it "ouch that hurt, you gonna bully your own brother like that?" Russia dramatically holds his chest "we aren't even related, I'm literally adopted" Ukraine finishes his cake and goes to his room, locking it leaving the Russian alone to his thoughts

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