Get On Your Knees and Pray to me By Shining Loki On AO3

Chapter 24 - The Bed Is Big Enough For All Of Us

He just wanted you.

When Loki woke up that morning, you were still practically on top of him. You were curled into his chest, the point of your cold nose poking his skin. Loki stared down at you and immediately felt his heart shatter into pieces. There were dried tear tracks on your cheeks. Loki wrapped his arms tightly around you and pulled you in impossibly closer.

You had cried. You had cried and he wasn't there to dry your tears. Loki buried his face in your hair and took in the scent of your shampoo, perfume, and the hint of sex still clinging to your soft, supple skin from last night. He had fallen asleep so quickly the night prior. He wasn't physically exhausted as he usually was - he was just a bit tired. It was no surprise, really, given he spent the entire five or six hours you were gone answering prayers - something he, admittedly, had neglected to do these past few days. There was a lot going on, a lot of begging, desire, worship that needed his attention. And then when you arrived home, you climbed him like a tree in your own sort of begging, desire, and worship. But that worship came from a place of hurt.

Your friend, Gretchen, worshipped Loki. She got onto her knees, folded her hands, and sent up prayers to him. He did not know how often, but given how upset you were over it, he assumed it was a frequent ordeal. Loki knew you were growing more confident. Fuck, you barely even batted an eyelash at his previous engagement. But this, it hurt you. He needed to know why.

Gretchen was supposedly a good person, at least according to you. Was her worship so ghastly to bring tears to your eyes? This was the part of godliness Loki was beginning to resent. Even though he was yours, a piece of him still belonged to the realms, to the strangers that followed him, to the friends of yours that did too.

Loki loved being a god. He loved the power, the strength, the endurance that came with it. He loved his temple, his robes, his magic. But with every passing day, he found he loved you more.

He wanted to spend forever with you. Forever, however, was not in your cards.

Looking down at you, Loki was hit with the emotional truth of your relationship - you were a mortal, he was not. Loki wasn't a fool, he knew this was going to be an issue he had to face eventually. However, he never really thought that you two would ever get to the point of love. Now that you were here, he had some serious thinking to do.

Perhaps the first time Loki really realized the difference in your life spans was at the ball. The beings of the many other realms had him seeing the shortness of your life, and the even shorter span of your youth. Watching you grow old would not bother Loki, but he did wish he could grow old with you. He'd stay by your side until the very end, if you would let him, at least.

Bringing your life spans together would be a sincere challenge. As Loki brushed his knuckles along your bare back, he wondered what he could possibly do to extend your life. He couldn't shorten his own - losing his godliness would throw the entire pantheon off balance and chaos, destruction, and darkness would flood the realms. Especially now that he was the chief of two pillars, leaving behind his immortality was not an option.

But giving you immortality...that could work. Maybe.

Thor had always told Loki that he was the most powerful sorcerer in all the Nine Realms. Well, he wasn't wrong. Loki was the most powerful sorcerer - a fact he prided himself on, of course. Yet, there were still powers and gifts that even he was not allowed to possess, one of which being the gift of bestowing immortality. That was a power that only the Allfather could have.

And if Odin's way of speaking about you before was any indication, giving you immortality was not something the Allfather would do.

Maybe Loki could convince him to give you the gift of immortality. Fuck it, he'd even fall to his knees and kiss Odin's boots if it meant he could keep you forever. He would do anything to let you stay by his side for the rest of his years. Living without you...it wasn't something he wanted to consider. And perhaps that knowledge of his own self-destructiveness brought on by your loss would be enough to persuade Odin.