Stand by Me

Chapter 22

Amina removed her hands quickly and flashed him an apologetic smile, "Hurts there?"

Jimin nodded, squeezing Jin's hands who gave him a hug and praised him for being so brave. They hadn't let go of one another's hands the entire time. Jin had always been motherly to him and now was no different, especially since his best friend was laying in a hospital. 

Amina jotted down her notes on his condition before perching on the edge of Jimin's bed, clipboard in hand. 

"Jimin-ssi, while you were asleep we went ahead and ran some tests to find out why you passed out and bled from your lower region. We have not shared the results yet simply because we wanted to wait until you were fully awake. Jimin-ssi, you were about nine weeks pregnant, but I'm sorry to inform you that you've had a miscarriage. Your body was too malnourished, sleep deprived and stressed to continue to carry your baby. I'm so very sorry, Jimin-ssi. This won't hurt your fertility, and if you wait a few weeks then you and your partner can try again. Did you know you were pregnant?"

Jimin's heart beat quickened, skipping a beat as the word miscarriage echoed in his thoughts. Tears rolled down his cheeks silently as he let go of Jin's hands and clutched his now empty stomach. The guilt, grief and pain of losing his and Yoongi's child barreled into him, knocking the air out of him as it strangled what little happiness he had left. He had been ready to take a test and sacrifice everything he could for this baby, but he would never get the chance to even meet them now. Amina stood up and gently laid a weighted anxiety blanket over Jimin to soothe him. Jin turned away as the grief pouring out of Jimin was suffocating him. He wanted to be there for Jimin, but watching him shatter all over again broke him in a way he would never recover from. He broke down in tears as he hurried out of the room, frantically trying to conceal his reaction so he wouldn't further Jimin's pain. It wasn't his baby, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt immensely.

Namjoon hesitated before following Jin out and wrapping him in a tight hug. He didn't say anything, just cradled his sobbing lover and let the situation wash over them both. He couldn't speak. There was nothing anyone could say to comfort anyone in a situation like this. He couldn't imagine how Jimin felt, and still his mind wandered to how Yoongi would react. How would the couple cope with this loss if they couldn't even see one another? They never even got the chance to embrace the idea of a child. 

Amina sat with Jimin, holding his hands and speaking softly with him. She spent two hours sitting and talking him through the emotions. She'd given miscarriage news before, and she'd even had one herself. She understood the emotions washing over Jimin, she understood his grief and guilt. She understood better than anyone else would. She wasn't a therapist, but she could offer some insight from her own experience. Her soothing talking guided Jimin through the barrage of emotions threatening to drown him. Amina stayed with him as long as he needed to ensure he wouldn't do something rash if she left. Another hour passed before his emotions began to settle. His tears had slowed now that the news had sunk in and he was beginning to come to terms with it. Amina waited until he had fallen fast asleep before she stood up and left to find Jin and Namjoon. They hadn't had the miscarriage, but she knew they were also facing difficult emotions with the reality of the situation. 

She found them sat on a bench next to some vending machines down the hallway. Jin had his head resting on Namjoon's shoulder as he tried to stomach a granola bar. Namjoon had his arms wrapped around his partner as he acted as Jin's rock. Amina approached them slowly, giving them a small smile as she stopped in front of them. 

"Namjoon and Jin, correct?" She asked, smiling a little more when they nodded. 

"I just wanted to update you both on Jimin-ssi's condition and some symptoms to look out for over the next few days and weeks. He will most likely experience soreness, tiredness, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, abdominal pain and cramping, and back pain. It is crucial that you both appear as positive as possible for him to help keep him from slipping into a negative headspace. I will have the hospital's therapist for those who miscarry come by and speak with him every day that he is here with us. Then I will recommend another therapist for him to continue seeing after he is discharged. He will be with us for about a week or so as we get his health back to where it should be. He is both malnourished and a little dehydrated. The hospital psychiatrist will be meeting with him tomorrow and will most likely be moving him onto antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. She will also assess whether he needs to be monitored or not for suicidal tendencies. He may need someone to stay with him after he is discharged and help him get into a rhythm before he can live alone. I've heard that his partner is," She hesitated and chose her words carefully, "not available at the moment, so it will fall to the both of you or his family."