Monaxiá

Part four - scars

I ended up pushing myself away from dad and the bathtub and falling and hitting the back of my head against the door, no blood just a worse headache than usual.

After washing my hand I retreat back to standing closely beside dad as he supports me and holds me from falling over due to my weak and injured feet and ankles.

My knee doesn't make anything better, the bottoms of my feet hurt and my ankles are basically broken, but my right knee was broken a while ago towards the beginning of when I was taken and hasn't healed well at all and I'm still In a lot Pain from standing on it.

"Do you want to try have a shower? Or we can wash you again..?" Dad asks soothing my back as I hold onto his shirt. Since I woke up as I'm not able to go anywhere near the bathtub I've been cleaning my body with a wet towel and soap as I'm determined not to smell bad. Although I'm not able to use any nice smelly stuff as my skins really sensitive and sore I'm still trying my best not to be unhygienic.

Dads had to help me with my back and other places I can't reach as I'm in a lot of pain when I move around so he's seen a lot of cuts and scars, unlike me when I keep my eyes tightly shut while I do this until I have a jumper and joggers back on then re-open my eyes.

I shake my head as dad kisses the crown of my head while continuing to hold and support me, "that's okay baby, maybe tomorrow morning we can try get you more used to the shower again.?" I don't do anything except look down at my cat socks as he begins to pick me up.

Tucking me into bed we finish the episode before dad gives me my medicine, feeling more sleepy than before I hold onto dads shirt as I start to drift only to be interrupted by a small knock at the door.

"Yeh?" Dad says as the door opens and the older guy- whose dads dad- walks in quietly as my eyes fall heavier each second.

They whisper quietly in Italian as I attempt to listen to what they are saying to no avail.

—

I sit in the edge of the bed as Charlie takes off the bandages on my face, neck and arms. He said to dad that now they're scabbed over and healing well we need to let air get to them so they can breathe.

He doesn't react when he reveals my eye and left side of my face, only slightly pausing and taking a small breath before beginning to see if my eye is okay and that I can see well.

"Your vision might be a bit blurry for a couple hours, but should be better soon. If it's not tell me or your dad okay?" He says as I look to my hands on my lap and he slowly stands and says something again: quietly and in Italian before leaving.

I look down at my lap while I untuck my hair from my ear as dad walks over and crouches beside me, "hey, you feeling okay?" He asks and I only nod- a lie, I feel really really sick about everything.

Charlie and dad gave me my medicine before this as I had just woken up and it usually makes me feel better but when he told me he would have to take the bandage off of my face I felt way worse than before.

But now I feel really really sick. Hiding my face in my hands I hide my face from dad as he crouched beside me worried about me, "it's okay baby, let's.. let's watch a film.? We can watch another Lego one? You liked that Lego Batman film before huh?"

I only start to cry as my finger tips- of my newly revealed scarred and almost grotesque hand, dance over the scars of the left side of my face. I know it looks bad, I haven't seen it yet but I can feel it and can remember vividly when and how this happened.

Everything falls into a deep blur as my hand runs over three deep and sensitive scars that begin just below my eye and run down to my jaw. The scar is thicker and more painful just under my eye- where the scar is deepest and most sensitive before thinning out to my jaw.