Lose You To Love Me (Mafia Romance)

CHAPTER 0

I, on the other hand, was just a normal girl. If my grandfather didn't save the Don's life, none of this would have happened. This was paid off by merging our families through marriage--for a lifetime of protection and financial comfort. Since both had sons as their heirs, the moment Theo and I were born, our fate was already decided.

I just turned 20 when it happened, ready to take over the world of performing arts. Theo was 23, already operating and acting as the underboss. His charisma and power combined gained him influence and popularity, which broaden the Salvatores' territories even further. This achievement earned him the alias of The Scorpion--for his domination and protector representation.

I was caught in my train of thoughts that I didn't notice his sharp gaze. Funny, and pitiful at the same time, how with just one look, I already knew what he wanted. Without wasting any time, I picked up the black tie that I prepared for him for the funeral. I unfolded his collar up, and draped the tie around his neck then proceeded in doing the Windsor Knot. This was one of my many tasks as his wife.

I wanted to say I wouldn't miss this, but in all honesty I would. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy when I picture Penelope doing this to him once the divorce would be finalized.

My gaze shifted a bit higher, taking a glance at Theo's face. But as always, he wasn't looking at me, he preferred staring at the mirror--his reflection, instead of showering me a bit of affection.

Just an ounce of warmness would be enough. But why would he? He already had someone special in his life, so my existence was inconvenient for him--an obstacle even.

Feeling helpless, I refocused my attention back to fix his tie.

When and how I fell for him was beyond me. It wasn't love at first sight, no. But I wouldn't deny the fact that his undeniably good looks and charm caught my attention. But then again, maybe I wasn't in love with him after-all. I was just in love to the idea of having someone, and it just so happen that he was there, and the feeling of being needed, and looking after someone, satisfied me.

Only God knew how many tears I shed each night Theo wasn't home. Thinking he was with his mistress again, and you can't do anything about it. I shallowed every pain for so long that I should be feeling numbed already, but surprisingly I wasn't.

It was just killing me slowly.

Whatever bargain the Don offered Theo to agree to marry me instead of Penelope must be impossible to resist. I wasn't sure, the terms weren't disclosed. But as for me, I think I did it to fulfil my grandfather's last wish since he was the one who looked after me and brought me up. He was my everything, and Alastair--The Don, made me feel like his family as well.

But mostly, I agreed because I was so desperate to have a complete family. Someone to have and to hold. That reason alone made me want to make this marriage last. I gave my all and he knew it. God knew how much I tried to be a good wife for him. The efforts and things I had given up for this. But no matter how much I try, if the other half wasn't willing, it wouldn't work. To make things worse, my husband wasn't home much to work things out.

But then, would my pregnancy be the reason for this to finally work out? Selfishness and greediness engulfed me. This was his child as well, he has the right to know. As I slowly pull the wide end of the tie to bring the knot closer to his neck, I calmed my nerves down and took a deep breath as I say, "I'm..."

The second word dissolved in my mouth the moment his phone abruptly rang.

He picked it up right away as if he was expecting a call at this time. "Is everything okay?" As he answered, his features softened. Gone was the cold-hearted and feared mafia boss, it was then replaced with a gentle prince. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out who the caller was. He only reserved that side of him to one person, one girl alone.

I stepped away from him and made my way to the full length mirror. I pretended to adjust my black dress and fix my hair, any actions just to hide the discomfort and pain that was harboring in my chest due to the openness and boldness of their affair. He too walked out--out of earshot, without even sparing me a glance.

While Theo only had coldness and indifference towards me, I grew accustom to this kind of treatment. At first, I thought that maybe it was a mafia thing. Being ruthless and heartless were the foundation of their success. By being uncaring and cruel, it would be easier for them to carry out their unlawful tasks without thinking twice.

There shouldn't be any room for gentleness--as this was a sign of weakness. Shouldn't show any vulnerability as this could be used against them by their enemies.

But, seeing this side of him actually exists, made me realize that even the wildest animal can be tamed by the right master.

Glancing to where Theo went to, I could still hear the conversation going on. I thought he said he hates being late?

He just hates me. I reminded myself.

Walking closer to the mirror, I put a hand over my stomach. It has been five weeks since I boldly, and completely submitted myself to him. I was drunk, but sober enough to know what I was doing. I shouldn't be feeling ashamed for what I did, our consummation was long overdue anyway. It needed to be done, and it took me two bottles of red wine to finally have the courage to initiate it.

I just didn't expect that with that one night, it would result to this.

I guess this child would be better off without a father than to have someone who would just loathe his existence. Theo would probably consider this pregnancy as his eternal prison--added burden, and reason to stay with me and keep me. The last thing I wanted was for him to be stuck in this miserable marriage and use my child to my leverage.

I can make this work. I assured myself. I just have to make sure that I sign those papers and leave this city as soon as possible before the baby bump shows.

I guess losing Theo would be the best way to love myself again--something that I forgot to do the moment I gave my all and trust to him.

--END OF CHAPTER 0--