Shine your light

3

Chapter 3

POV Olivia

I got in the back of the car, buckling in with shaky hands. As Claire started the car and pulled out onto the street, I turned back and saw the station building through the back window. On the outside, it had a large sign with the number '19' on it. I hadn't given it any thought, but it must have been a fire station. Maya must have been a firefighter.

I hugged the bear close, it giving me comfort, and although it didn't smell like her, the blanket did. It was cold out, only march, and I had no clothes with me except the ones I was wearing. I would practically be a popsicle without her thoughtfulness. I smelled the soft fabric, closed my eyes, and imagined Maya was still holding me. The way she rubbed my back and stroked my hair made me feel safer than I had ever felt before.

I was never unsafe, my house was never unsafe, my father had never acted the way he did today. My mom left after I was born, and then I think she died. My father had never been a person who yelled or hit or threw things. He was just... not there. I mean, he was there physically, he got me food and bought me clothes and drove me to school, but he was always distant. He always worked, shushed me when I tried to talk to him because he was on the phone. I don't think he has ever hugged me, or even really looked at me. I never knew how it felt to have someone who saw me, who listened, who cared... not until Maya.

I repeated her words in my head, 'shine your light'. It seemed like they meant a lot to her, her eyes sparkled when she said them. I hadn't quite figured out what she meant by it yet, but I would, eventually.

The car came to a stop outside an average looking house. Claire got out and rounded the car to help me. I held the blanket and bear tightly as we walked up. When the door opened, it revealed a disheveled looking woman with a towel on her shoulder. A kid ran past her in the background, and Claire ushered me inside, giving me a sad smile before leaving. The woman told me there was a room upstairs to the left, so I went there, desperate to escape the noisy living room. There were toys and things everywhere, and I assumed there were several other kids living there.

The room had a bunk bed, which I didn't mind since I got the bottom bunk. There was really nothing wrong with the house, except for the noise. I had to try hard not to get transported right back to my kitchen that morning.

I managed to get by, got some clothes, a toothbrush, just enough food. The thing missing was what only one person had ever given me, love. There was no affection, no one caring about how I was doing. I should be used to it, I had lived that way my entire life, but after getting a taste, it was harder to be without it.

After a couple of days, I had almost gotten used to the noise. I managed to tune it out. Every night, I slept with my bear and blanket in a death grip, letting them distract me from the nightmares of my dad punching me. Tonight was no exception. I had a hard time falling asleep, the constant noise from downstairs feeding my flashbacks.

I was already feeling on edge when something broke. The sound of glass cut through me, awakening every single memory. I was suddenly sitting on my kitchen floor with my knees to my chest and broken glass all around me. In a pure state of fight or flight, my body moved for me. Still in pajamas, holding my bear and blanket, I ran down the stairs. Thankfully, I was aware enough to get my shoes on. The noise must have covered for me, as no one had even realized I was at the door until I opened it.

"Hey! Where the fuck are you going!?" The woman yelled angrily, not helping my flashbacks at all.

Before I knew it, my legs took off running. Where was I going? I had no Idea. I didn't even know where I was, but it couldn't be too far away from central Seattle, as the car ride there hadn't been long. It was dark and ice cold outside, my sweatpants and T-shirt doing little to keep me warm. Once again, my blanket was my savior... Maya was my savior.