The two of them had a great time in Sweden and Jan got to meet Eldas cousins, uncles and aunts. She had a really nice family and Jan would definitely love to meet them again some time. When they had got back to London Ivy had invited them and Lily out to a nightclub, saying they needed to have some fun as if they couldn't have fun without partying. Either way they did have a great time and they all enjoyed finally getting to hangout again. And Jan was happy, because they had come far enough for him to be able to call Lily and Ivy his friends now.
At some point into the night, however, Ivy and Elda had gone onto the dancefloor, leaving Jan and Lily at their table. This really wasn't a problem, they we're allowed to have fun without him after all, that was until they got close. Far to close for Jan's liking. He knew he had no say in the people Elda chose to date, but he also knew Elda was in no way ready for a relationship after her last one, they had talked about it multiple times even. And either way Ivy wasn't a person he would want to see her with, she was a great and fun friend, but she had a reputation for changing her partners often and had a habit of playing with people only to end up breaking their hearts. That was not something he wanted for Elda, especially not after her last relationship.
As he was watching them dancing together they got closer, eventually letting their lips meet. He could see Lily at his side getting fidgety, although he didn't know why. Elda opened her eyes, locking eyes with Jan as she continued to kiss Ivy, and Jan quickly diverted his eyes elsewhere. He knew they we're drunk, they all we're really, but Elda and Ivy had drunk the most out of the four of them. Jan really wished this was only a one-night kind of thing.
He returned his eyes to Elda and Ivy on the dancefloor, realizing what he was feeling wasn't only care for his friend, but also jealousy. Oh, what am I doing wrong. He thought.
Eventually they parted, making their way back to the table, and Jan had to keep reminding himself to stay calm as they sat down beside each other. A normal friend probably wouldn't be so concerned, rather happy, so that was the part he had to play.
I'm trying my best not to try and impress you
Avoiding your eyes cause I
Know that she's there with you, oh with you
I'm holding my breath when you're coming my way
And inside my head I repeat to myself
"Be cool, oh be cool"
It wasn't a one-night thing. Elda seemed happy, whether it be a facade or not, and Jan didn't have the heart to tell her to just end things. Not when Ivy hadn't done anything wrong. Yet. And perhaps she would be a better girlfriend if it's to one of her friends and not some random person, but Jan couldn't help but feel as if Ivy would have a hard time changing her routines.
Right now, it was snowing outside, and not the kind that instantly melts away. No for the first time this winter it was properly snowing, and so the four of them had decided to meet up in a park to enjoy it while it lasts. London wasn't really known for having lots of snow in the winter after all, it usually mostly rained during the winter.
Elda had slept at Jan's apartment like usual and so they walked there together, however, when they got there only Ivy was there. That might not seem so weird, except the two of them are roommates so it really doesn't make sense for them to get there at separate times. Elda went up to Ivy, greeting her with a kiss, because oh yeah, they're official now. It had only been a week and as much as he loved them separately he was already sick of seeing them together.
"Hi, where is Lily?" Jan asked, a bit worried he would be left third wheeling on his own.
"Oh, she said she was feeling ill, so I told her to stay inside to keep warm. Wouldn't want her to get worse you know." Ivy answered, her tone making it obvious that she cared a lot about the health of her friend. She was a good friend and a great person after all, Jan felt a bit guilty for mentally putting the blame on her. It did however raise suspicions since they all had made the plans this morning and it felt like a bit too much of a coincidence that she would've got sick between then and now. Elda however seemed to accept Ivy's answer, moving on to chat with her girlfriend.
"Hey, are you alright? I heard you had fallen ill." Jan sent a message saying to Lily. She didn't answer, but she didn't read it either so perhaps she really was sick and resting.
The three of them decided to take a walk across the park, Elda making sure she was the one walking in the middle to make sure Jan didn't feel left out. It didn't really work though because it only made sure Jan felt even more like a third wheel, listening to the conversation of the couple. And Elda did try to include him, but Jan wasn't feeling it and mostly replied with short replies which there weren't any way to answer to. So really it was his own fault for feeling left out.
He pushed down the hat on his head to make sure it covered his ears and then hiding his hands in his pockets as winds caring the cold of the winter swept past them. The park was beautiful, the branches of the tree was covered in what looked like crystals, reflecting the winter sun. He could hear children's laughter and the sound of the snow creaking under his feet with each step he took. As Jan let his thoughts run free, he found it was a really nice way to spend his afternoon after all.
Eventually the three of them got to a big fountain frozen in motion. While it most likely was a sculpture because no way the water could've frozen like that, it was really beautiful, and the winter sun made it glisten and brought out the natural beauty of the ice. Elda and Ivy apparently agreed, as Jan found out when they broke his chain of thoughts.
"Oh my this is beautiful" Elda said in awe, a smile spreading on her face and her blue eyes shining in the sun. She looked beautiful.
"It really is, should we take a photo of the two of us?" Ivy replied.
"Oh yeah that would be great. Jan, could you take the picture?" Elda asked, and before he could answer he was handed her phone. He couldn't say no now, so he faked a smile which he hoped Elda didn't see through and took a picture. They even kissed and Jan was forced to capture it in a picture. They both looked great, they had taken of their jackets, standing close together to keep some warmth and Ivy's arm had circled round Eldas waist. Ivy's black curls made a great contrast to the white snow surrounding them and the read tones of Eldas hair were brought out in the sun. Her mom was right, Jan thought, she really did catch on fire in the sun, and it was beautiful.
Elda was standing there looking beautiful next to someone else though, Jan being nothing but the photographer, not even visible in the background, no he was completely out of frame. I hope you know this won't last long, Jan thought.
But what am I supposed to say when
I'm standing alone and you give me your phone
Sure I can take a fuckin picture of you
She's obviously gorgeous and you're so damn cute
My God, my God
You didn't have to flex so hard
She puts her hand around your waist
You yours on her chest
I'm bothered by the way
Her fingers crease your dress
My God, My God!
Let's take another one
Where she breaks your heart now smile, smile
Jan had been alright with loving Elda in secret when he first realized that's what he was feeling, but at that time Elda was also single. Her being in a relationship changed this. Because Jan had never expected to be more then friends with Elda, if that's all he would get then he would be grateful for that, what he hadn't considered was what he would do if she found someone else. And now he felt even more emotions, he was jealous, and he felt like a fool. Ivy wasn't the one practically living with Elda. She wasn't the one who helped her when she was at her lowest. No that was all Jan. So, what did she have that Jan didn't? What was he doing wrong? Why did she chose her?
It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say is
That I never expected to be
More than just friends with you
Oh with you
But then she came along
And I felt something more
And I couldn't ignore the fact
That she makes me look
Like a fool, oh a fool
Sure I can take a fuckin picture of you
She's obviously gorgeous and you're so damn cute
My God, my God
You didn't have to flex so hard
She puts her hand around your waist
You yours on her chest
I'm bothered by the way
Her fingers crease your dress
My God, My God!
Let's take another one
Where she breaks your heart now
"Hey guys, I was thinking of making my way home. I have this song idea I want to write down, is that okay?" Jan asked. He did have a song idea, however that wasn't the main reason he wanted to get away from there. He was just really tired of smiling through his pain.
"Oh, yeah sure." Elda responded, seeming a bit surprised. "Just text me when you get home, please, the streets are covered in ice today." She said, proving how much she cares about her friends.
And so, Jan began the walk to his apartment. It wasn't too long, it didn't take more than 15 minutes, it was just that Jan was freezing and the wind didn't seem to plan to stop anytime soon.
Jan quickly made his way home, thinking of the lyrics to the song he was planning. As he walked inside the snowflakes stuck in his hair began to melt, making his hair damp and messy. Outside his fingers had been too cold to pick up his phone so as he checked it now, he realized Lily had replied to him an hour ago.
"Yeah sorry, I wasn't feeling great" she had written.
Jan, who felt a bit wind up after his afternoon with the couple, decided to call Lily and spill all his complaints on her. It was partly her fault after all. Lily answered almost immediately as if she already had her phone in hand.
"Hi, what's up?" She said a bit too cheerfully for Jan's liking.
"You can't just leave me third wheeling like that Lily" he said, the irritation clear in his voice. Lily stayed quiet for a second before responding.
"I'm sorry, I would've come had I not felt ill, its better now though." She said, a bit to uncertainly for it to be believable.
"You're not fooling anyone Lily, you were fine this morning and you're fine now, there's no way you were too ill to come with us. Why didn't you come?" Jan asked impatiently. Perhaps he was being a bit too harsh, but Jan had to take it out on someone, and it probably wouldn't be the best idea to take it out on Elda when she got home. He couldn't risk her finding out what he felt, especially not now that she was in a relationship.
He could hear Lily taking a breath before answering. "I didn't feel like watching the two of them be all cute and close all afternoon" She admitted carefully.
"Oh" Jan said, because that was something he could relate too. And why hadn't he thought of pretending to be sick? "You realize you left me alone with them though, don't you?" He said with a hint of disappointment in his voice. "If you had been there, we would have had each other at least."
"I know. I'm sorry Jan, I thought you would be alright, you're best friends with Elda after all." Lily said. "Well, aren't you best friends with Ivy?" Jan countered. Lily didn't answer and the two of them shared a silent moment.
"Do you want to know how it went?" Jan finally said, bringing back some of his irritation from earlier. Lily simply hummed as an answer. "The walk was alright, sure they were being close, but it was manageable. But then we got to the fountain, and of course they find it too be the most perfect spot for a photo and of course they want me to take the photo. And it's not like I could say no, it's just a picture after all. But then they stood so close, and Ivy held her waist so tight and if that wasn't enough, they kissed. They kissed and all I could do was watch them through the screen and smile as if everything was alright. As if I was enjoying it." Jan ranted, his voice got louder, and he barely let himself breath in between the words.
"Jan?" Lily asked after he had ended his rant. "Are you jealous? Do you like Elda?" She said with amusement as well as care in her voice.
Jan took a deep breath, preparing to speak. "You can't tell anyone" he croaked out with emotions lacing his voice.
"Of course, I won't, I trust you'll keep my secret too" she said warmly. Perhaps Lily was referring to her lie about being sick, but Jan couldn't help but feel as if there were some unspoken meaning he was missing.
Smile when you see them kissing right through the lens
Smile as if you don't know you'll never erase it
Smile even though you know you don't stand a chance
Smile even though you know well how it ends
Smile when you see them kissing right through the lens
Smile as if you don't know you'll never erase it
Smile even though you know you don't stand a chance
Smile so they never see the pain on your face now
Sure I can take a fuckin picture of you
She's obviously gorgeous and you're so damn cute
My God, my God
You didn't have to flex so hard
She puts her hand around your waist
You yours on her chest
I'm bothered by the way
Her fingers crease your dress
My God, My God!
Let's take another one
Where she breaks your heart
As Jan was waiting for Elda to get back he decided to do what he had said he would, work on his song. As he had just finished working on the chorus, he could hear the door open and heard Elda calling out his name.
"Hey, are you alright? You seemed a bit out of it earlier" she said as she entered the room, watching him curiously.
"Oh yeah just had this song idea I didn't want to forget; you know how it is" he said putting on the same fake smile he had worn in the park.
"Oh yeah I get it" she said, sitting down next to him. Jan closed his notebook, not wanting her to question the lyrics. "Oh, did you see that I posted and tagged you in the pictures you took?" She said cheerfully. "They turned out great, thank you so much!"
"Oh yeah I did, thank you. It was no problem" he said, although the song he was currently writing was proof that it in fact was a problem, at least to him.
Sure I can take a fuckin picture of you
She's obviously gorgeous and you're so damn cute
My God, my God
You didn't have to flex so hard
She puts her hand around your waist
You yours on her chest
I'm bothered by the way
Her fingers crease your dress
My God, My God!
Let's take another one
Where she breaks your heart now
-------------
A/N:
Lily is my pride and joy so dont you dare judge her, she is my baby.
Also, obvious change in the song since its originally about a man.
This chapter is extra long because im not sure if I will be able to post the following week. I might post as normal with no changes or I wont post at all the coming week, I dont know yet but I will do my best to post something at least.
Votes and comments are appreciated as usual
Enjoy life, see ya:)
YOU ARE READING
You put me on fire || Jan. R. (Discontinued)
Fanfiction"The polish representant for this year's Eurovision will be...Three, two, one...BLANKA" And right there, at that moment, was where Elda's anger became too big to control and the thought of her actions having consequences didn't even cross her mind a...
