8 is fate // Stray Kids

22

Felix

Felix opened the door carefully in case Han had fallen asleep again. But as soon as he entered the room he was met with golden eyes and a soft smile as a greeting.

"Hey, how are you feeling?", Felix stepped closer and sat down on the chair next to Han's bed.

As a soundless chuckle escaped Han's lips, Felix realized his mistake.

"I'm sorry, Seungmin told me that you can't speak yet", he apologized quickly but Han wasn't listening anymore. His eyes were forced shut, his eyebrows furrowed as pain flooded his body – all from a mere chuckle.

Quickly, Felix put his hands on Han's chest, channeling his power. The human's face relaxed almost immediately.

"Don't worry, you'll be as good as new in no time", he reassured the boy. "I have to examine you real quick. Blink once if it feels okay and multiple times if it hurts, okay?"

Han blinked once.

It was hard to see him like this. When Felix had first found him, he had seemed unbreakable. He still remembered how impressed he had been with human. Although he was being beat bloody, he stood his ground, no sign of fear in his eyes, no backing out. He took everything on, headfirst. Though he had no special powers, he had made the best of what he had. He had fought to create a path for himself.

Originally Felix had thought that it was a path to survival, but he wasn't so sure of it anymore.

Two nights ago, it had looked like Han was content with giving up. Like he had made peace with dying a long time ago.

It scared Felix.

It made him question Han's actions, made him look at the underground fight in a different light. Maybe it wasn't bravery and fearlessness that had kept him on his feet that night, maybe it was apathy. Pure indifference to what happened to him and his body, leaving it to fate whether he'd die or live to see another day, but being content with either.

"You know", he said after he was done treating Han. "Your live matters. You might not see it yourself, but it does."

Felix could read the surprise in Han's eyes.

"You have people who care for you, people who will hurt if you give up on life", Felix could feel tears swell up. "We all have lost too much already, please don't let us experience any more of that."

Felix looked down on his hands, trying to suppress the memories.

A hand reached for his, squeezing it softly.

Felix head shot up. Han tried to hide it, but it was evident that the movement pained him. He held on to Felix's hand nonetheless, a question on his silent lips.

Felix hesitated. "I've lost my family a couple of years ago. It was during a wildfire, one of the most ravaging in decades. My parents were the leaders of our tribe, they took on the responsibility to save as many as possible. Sometimes I think I should be angry because they've prioritized others before their own family, but I can't. They are the reason many forest spirits and animals are alive today. I guess I'm kind of proud, they were true leaders until the very end. They've made their decision and I must respect that. My sisters on the other hand...it hurts so much more. My older sister shielded us from a falling tree as she tried to get us to safety. She died instantly."

Felix choked down a sob that was trying to escape his throat. He still remembered so very vividly how his sister protected them without any hesitation. How the burning tree hit her head, practically splitting it open. He remembered how her limp body fell on top of his, how her dead and soulless eyes bore into his. The face that always carried a kind smile and an optimistic gleam on it, now empty.