Kissing Razors | Tony Perry

10) I promise

Being alone and lonely are two very different things. I love being alone; having that time to yourself and not worrying about anyone else is amazing. But being lonely isn't the same. I've always been lonely. Of course, I've always had Kellin in my life, as well as his band that I grew up with. But I'm not really close to them anymore. Kellin is my only friend. Other people usually have a best friend and then a bunch of other friends. I've always only just had a best friend, no one else to lean on. Until I met Tony.

It's weird because Tony and I are two very different people, but at the same time, we're the same. And now I've met the rest of his band, and they seem to like me. I hope so, anyway. Probably not after what happened tonight, though. Pretty much my whole life just got spilled to them on accident, and they don't even know the whole story. They probably think I'm a crack whore or something - walking into a house covered in blood, crying. That's not a good second impression.

I can't believe Tony knows about pretty much everything and we've only known each other for like, only a month. I told him about Kai and why I didn't kiss him that one night. He's the most understanding person ever. And now he knows my family is a bunch of psychotic, lunatics that don't know how to control their anger or love their own child.

I'm just a broken kid from a broken home who has never had the chance to heal.

I was going to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him. Just. Not like this.

Tony brought me back to his place about an hour ago after Kellin left the room. When we walked out of the bathroom, I tried to talk to Kellin, but he just ignored me, leaving me standing there feeling rather foolish i'm front of everyone.

As much as I wish Tony hadn't witnessed Kellin being mad at me, I'm grateful he was there because I don't know how I would have handled it otherwise.

Now, here we are, sitting on his couch, engrossed in "Me, Myself and Irene." I stumbled upon it in his DVD rack next to the TV. It's my all-time favorite movie, and I was pleasantly surprised to find it here. With Jim Carrey starring in it, it has always been my go-to comfort movie. But as of right now, I have no interest in it.

"Are you okay?" Tony's soft whisper tickles my ear as he moves closer, gently brushing a strand of hair from my face.

I take a deep breath before responding, "Yeah, I guess... I'm just not really in a movie mood." I glance down at my fidgeting hands, trying to put my swirling thoughts into words. "Kellin hates me," I admit, my gaze returning to the TV screen.

Tony shifts into a position that situates me in front of him, and his comforting words flow like a soothing melody. "No, he doesn't," he assures me, his fingers gently intertwining with mine. "He just doesn't understand. You two will be okay. He'll get over himself and realize that he's being a dick, and you guys will be okay again, alright?"

I manage a faint nod because, at this moment, speaking threatens to unleash another wave of tears.

"Okay," Tony says, breaking the brief silence that enveloped us. He rises and switches off the TV before making his way to another room, momentarily leaving me puzzled about his intentions.

"Tony?" I start to ask, but he reappears with one of his acoustic guitars and a notebook in hand.

"When I'm sad, I usually write songs," he explains as he takes a seat on the floor, coaxing me to join him. "Which makes sense because I'm in a band, but that's beside the point." He grins playfully. "We never got to finish the song that you showed us when we half did the band thing. Probably should have gone for the rest of the week, but whatever. Anyways, do you want to help me finish it?" Tony offers, holding the notebook in front of me, where the lyrics from my song "I Love You" are laid.