Estranged | ✓

→ ch 3 : kiss before the Eiffel

anupamaa:

Nothing annoys more than a boyfriend.
And that, my friends, is a fact.
I called him up for the nth time, only for the call to be sharply hung up.

"I really think he is busy.", Rebecca, a fellow teammate said as she watched me calling Vanraj Gadhedo Shah.
I was in Paris, in a black and gold saree, sipping on my wine (formalities and all) in a rooftop restaurant, watching the Eiffel Tower glistening with the yellow and white lights, under the starry night sky.
The client had absolutely loved our performance and had given us this party.
This was my first world tour trip and I still couldn't believe it was going this well.
I still had three weeks to go back home.

My boyfriend had just dropped a message saying "I am giving up."

And I was expected be normal after that.
I was feeling extremely sick and was on the verge of breaking down.
The tour thing had been hard on him.

And he clearly couldn't manage everything behind my back.
Kavya had been filling me in with how he had been losing sleep, and how he was throwing a huge tantrum and making Anirudh work all day and night.
Also, Toshu had mentioned how his Papa had forgotten Samar's school project and then gone into self destruction mode with cigarettes.

And yet, whenever I asked him, he said he was doing very well.
Except today.

He had set a new caller tune which sang "Yaad teri aati hai.. mujhko bada satati hai..".

He finally picked up the call.

"Hello?", He said in a raspy voice.
I drew in a sharp breath and stood up.
Keeping my glass on the table, I strode down to the garden.

"HELLO?! MISTER SHAH YOU ARE SAYING HELLO!", I literally burst at him like an atom bomb.
"Anu-"
"No! Don't you come up with a stupid justification, Vanraj Shah! I literally had a heart attack!", I shouted at him.
There was silence on the other end of the line.
People glanced at me awkwardly.
I sighed, walking down to an empty region of the park.

"Are you fine?", I asked finally, sitting back on an empty bench.
"No.", He said, his voice was almost numb.
It was two at night in California, I knew.
I sat back.

Finally, he had given up on lying and pretending to manage everything well.

"Should I video call?", I asked.
"Hmm."

I switched the call to video.
He looked back at the camera, looking sleep deprived. Almost the way I had met him, a few months ago.
He was sitting at the balcony, in his white shirt.
Guilt shot through me.

I was being so selfish.
For my own sake, I was making him and my kids go through so much.
I looked down, drawing in a deep breath.

"Anu.. Please..", He said softly.
"I am sorry.", I mumbled, tears itching my eyes.
"You know that's why I kept lying to you.", He said softly. In the world's noise, his voice felt like a soft breath of fresh air.
"I-I didn't mean to make you go through-", A tear slid down my eye finally.
The guilt had been penting up for days, every time I heard he had messed up, every time there was a mention of how he really needed someone.
That someone was me.
And I wasn't there.

"Anu.. if you are going to cry, I am never talking to you.", He said, his voice broke a little.
I looked up, wiping my tears with my free hand.
"Tell me. How can I help you?", I asked softly.
"Smile first.", He said.
His lips curved into a soft smile.
The kind that had longing, yet the kind that didn't want to show it.