Estranged | ✓

VI. for you to love me

vanraj :

It was late at night. I still could not sleep.
Anupamaa hadn't said a word after that conversation. She had simply come back and fallen asleep.

Obviously she was exhausted.
Samar and Toshu slept on the bed between us.

I picked up my phone and opened Rittika's last message,

"I am leaving.. if you want to reconsider do call me."

I can't.
I can't reconsider.
I sat up.

I walked out of the room. It was suffocating. Everything was.
Whatever happened today shouldn't have happened.
I opened the door and stood. A cool breeze blew.

Drawn by my emotions I had let her know of my affair, and now I was afraid.
What if she told Bapuji or Moti Baa?

I felt an urge to break down. But I held on.
I heard footsteps.
I recognised them instantly.

"You should sleep.", I said.
She did not reply.
"I have been trying to.", She mumbled.
"I am sorry..", she added, "I-I really shouldn't have reacted.. I-I don't know what happens to me sometimes.."

I looked at her, no I wasn't shocked, this was the normal.
She looked down, full of guilt.

The girl was a child. Estrangled with me into a marriage where I did little except exploiting her innocence with my fake love.

The day I had married Baa had made it very clear.

"She is this family's daughter in law first, then your wife. And don't give her too much love otherwise she'll sit on top of our heads."

I did what she said.

This marriage had nothing to do with love, for me.

"It's okay.", I said softly as she looked up at me in shock.
"But.. I-"
"It's okay Anupamaa.. now go and sleep.", I said.

She wiped her tears and drew in a deep breath.

"I.. I know I can't be like Rittika..", she mumbled, "But I still want to be loved by you."

I looked at her, perplexed now.

"I-I do everything.. the cooking, the chores, I ready your clothes better, I will take care of your family in the best way possible.. only so that you love me.. Appreciate me.. I stay in that small kitchen all day.. only so that you love me." , Her voice trembled with emotion.

"But.. if you don't love me even then.. then tell me what else I should do..", she said, almost pleading.

"What should I do Toshu ke Papa for you to love me the way you love Rittika?", Another tear slid down her eye.

My heart wrenched.

She reluctantly held my hand and said, "Please tell me what I should do.. for you to love me.."

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