Kaisoo: Unattainable Love

17: Unhappy Alone or Together?

Kyungsoo's POV

Miserable.

That's all I was for the next week.

The night after me and Kai fought, I called Suho. I called Suho and I broke down. I cried and cried infinite tears of sadness and misery. I had completely messed things up between me and Kai. I'd cheated on him, and cheating, as I've always been told, is wrong and unforgivable.

Kai wanted to forgive me, I know he did, he told me that. But I won't let him.

I love Kai, but he deserves better.

He deserves someone who will trust him and love him infinitely, unlike me. Kai is amazing and I want him to be happy, but I want him to learn to be happy without me.

Suho talked to me for hours and hours of the night. He comforted me, told me everything I should have wanted to hear. But somehow, when it wasn't Kai saying those things, they weren't comforting, they just hurt.

I hung up the phone at 4am, telling Suho I at least needed some sleep if I wanted to make it to school the next morning. We said our quick goodbyes and soon all that was to be heard was my own quiet sniffles. I didn't sleep that night, I just stared up at my blank ceiling, imagining that Kai was beside me.

Kai's POV

At school the next morning I observed, I observed from a distance.

I didn't pay a lick of attention in any of my classes, I paid attention to something much more important,

Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo was still being ushered around by Satan himself, but he did't look happy. He looked as if at any moment he could burst into a fit of tears. I hated seeing him so upset, so distraught.

But I knew that what he needed was space. Because what Kyungsoo really needed was to forgive himself, because that was what was standing in the way of his happiness.

And his happiness wanted him back.

Kyungsoo's POV

I felt eyes following me as I walked down the school hall. Those familiar deep brown eyes.. The eyes didn't look sad, or happy really. They just had this look of longing in them..

I let out a loud, audible sigh as I walked down the hall beside Suho.

It was terribly frustrating, being so physically close to Kai, but emotionally so far. I hated it, but I deserved it. I forced myself to stop thinking about Kai, a near impossible task, but eventually, I got the tanned brunette that I loved so much our of my head.

What I had to worry about, now, was Suho. Suho clung to me like a woman to her purse, I didn't push him away, though. I deserved to be stuck with someone like him. Someone who I don't love. I deserve the torture of being surrounded by those that I don't care about.

I didn't know how Kai was doing. He was very quiet all day. His eyes never seemed to leave me, though. I figured if I was with Suho, Kai would forget about me. It's give him time to find someone better, someone who really, truly, and fully loved him. Suho also served as my distraction. He was affectionate and caring, I didn't really enjoy his affection though. But it did distract me, and that was all that I needed.

Right now, I was just trying to make up my mind on something.

Is it better to be unhappy alone, or unhappy with someone who doesn't make you happy?

I can't decide.

//authornim.

Yeah, this story needed to be sad a little while because sometimes sad stuff is good.

Oh and I just need to add this little section. #rememberangela

i'll always love youuuuuu~

even if you're far away.

okay?

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3