15 | honesty

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HANEUL FELT SOMEONE staring at her intensely, resulting in her waking up from her deep slumber

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HANEUL FELT SOMEONE staring at her intensely, resulting in her waking up from her deep slumber. The after-effects of alcohol still lingered in her body, along with the urge to hurl all over her bed. Her throat was parched, and all she wished was to go back to sleep.

Groaning, she lifted herself up into a sitting position and let her eyes adjust to the darkness. Her digital alarm clock at the side table of her bed showed 5:39 am and she got startled by the soft hey that called for her.

She felt Taehyung touch her shoulder, and then squeeze reassuringly. "Go back to sleep," he said, slowly, letting her process his words. "It's barely morning yet."

Haneul shook her head and sat up straighter, tangling herself in the sheets. "Is there water here?" she asked, clearing her throat of the dryness.

Taehyung silently grabbed the water bottle at the edge of the bed and passed it on to her, which she accepted gladly. Uncapping, she took long gulps of the water as Taehyung yet again, kept staring at her.

The realisation of the events unfolded the night before slowly sunk in and Haneul had to stop herself from throwing a fucking tantrum right there in front of Taehyung, who surprisingly wasn't looking too sleepy.

Instead, she seated in a sitting position and moved till her back met the bed rest. Taehyung was sitting near the other end of the bed, hunched shoulders showing how tired he actually was.

Silence engulfed them as they both stared at each other. Stared at the lines on Haneul's sheets. Stared at the walls. Stared at the curtains and the floor which was glowing in the dawn light from the window.

"Why are you awake?" Taehyung asked after it felt like an hour, when in reality it had just been twenty minutes. His face was puffy and his eyes were swollen. Haneul didn't know that, but it's how usually Taehyung looked nowadays, the lack of sleep displayed in the dark circles formed under his eyes.

"Why are you awake?" Haneul countered, resting her head on the headboard of her bed. She had approximately yawned seven times in the past fifteen minutes alone, but no matter how hard she tried, she knew she couldn't go back to sleep. Not now.

"Can't fall asleep," Taehyung replied curtly, shrugging one of his shoulders. Paused, he waited for a few beats of silence to pass by. Engulf them. Then he asked, "You too?"

"Something like that," Haneul replied vaguely, her fingers tangling in the creases of her sheets as if she was playing the guitar. She stared at him again, noticing his nails were bitten off to the flesh.

Silence engulfed them again, and Taehyung found it very hard to not waver under her gaze. To not run away and hide all his mistakes and failures, and to not accidentally confess to her like he almost did, just a couple of hours ago.

"I'm sorry," Haneul started, and he thought her voice sounded like she was holding back a sob. When Taehyung turned to look at her face, he was proved right. It took everything in Haneul to not break down in front of him. "I'm sorry," she repeated again, and took in a deep breath to fight all the emotions clashing against each other. She was so tired of feeling helpless, so tired of pretending everything was okay. Her life had suddenly become an intangible mess, and it was as if she was a lie production factory. To be fair, Haneul was pretty sure that her problems were not actually problems compared to others, even Taehyung who seemed like going through ten thousand things at once. Sighing, she continued, "For yesterday. For kissing you. I didn't -"

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