The Family Secret

~ Seven ~

Jr's POV

Sitting on the back porch in one of the rocking chairs sipping a beer while Chase occupied the other. We both sat in silence, listening to the cicadas' sweet songs as it broke the quiet of the summer night. While we sat, I thought about the day that we had just both had and all the things that we had learned. Much like it had been since reading that email this morning, my mind was reeling after Connie had given me the story of how she knew my father. The entire time that she was telling it, a lot of things that I had either forgotten about until now or had just shoved to the back of my mind all started to make sense.

I remember the first big fight that Dad and Teressa had was over a photo that she found in his wallet one day while doing laundry. She'd accused daddy of cheating, even threatening to leave and take half of the empire that he had built using his name and talent for racing. Dad had told her that the old photo was just one that came in the wallet, giving her some old story about how he had lost his before a race and rushed to buy one, not bothering to take anything out of it. He'd told her that the photo had become part of a superstition that he had because that wallet with just that photo in it had been in his fire suit when he had gotten in a crash that should have killed him. He explained that he saw the photo as a good luck charm so he never got rid of it after that. Part of me wanted to believe that Teressa believed it but I think deep down she was just looking for something that would start a fight. She and Dad sure were good at that. I swear, the entire time they were married, I think they spent more time fighting than they did actually getting along. Sure, they'd put on a show for the fans, convincing them they were as much in love with one another as they were when they were newlyweds, but the people that had been close to them knew that it was all a lie.

Fast forward a few years after that argument and Dad and I had been sitting in the garage working on one of the cars and talking about how it hurt to lose your first love. It was right after the girl that I thought was going to one day be my wife even though we were only in 8th grade, had broken up with me because she had a crush on a guy who played baseball and who was a year older than me. Dad had pulled out that old photo and told me about how he knew what I was going through, that he knew what it was like to lose the woman that you loved, but that time would heal my wounds and that I would find someone that would make ht puppy love I was experiencing feel like it was nothing at all. Back then, I'd thought that dad was full of shit but then when I met Amy, I knew what he had been talking about.

As Connie told me the story of her and my dad, that photo and its memory popped into mind and I'd told her about it. She told me that she knew the exact photo that I was talking about, telling me that she had given it to him during the time that she and dad had reconnected and had begun planning their future. She explained that she had given it to him as a talisman of sorts since she couldn't just uproot her life with two young boys and follow him from track to track just yet; that having the photo with him was just a little reminder that even if she wasn't with him physically, she was there with him spiritually, cheering him on all while praying for his safety.

That conversation had morphed into how she thought that the photo had failed its purpose since it hadn't been able to keep him safe on the day that he wrecked, the day that ultimately changed my life and that of my siblings. She told us about how his death had affected her, about how it had affected her relationship with Daniel since he knew that Connie had deeply loved dad. Chase had chimed in then, saying that he remembered her and Daniel arguing one night when they thought that all three boys were sleeping and that he remembered her crying all the time when she thought that no one was paying attention.

It wasn't long after that conversation that Connie headed upstairs, leaving Chase and I to ourselves.

"You know I was so fuckin' furious with you when Callie told me how you left that I was ready to murder you, right?" I said, the wooden rocking chair creaking as I gently sat back in it, propping my feet onto the railing in front of me.