Incorrect South Park Quotes

Wow

Wendy:  Stan kissed me!
Bebe: Oh my God, oh my god, oh my god!
Red: Okay, we wanna hear everything!
Bebe: Does this end well or do we need tissues?
Wendy: Oh, it ended very well...
Bebe: Ooooo~
Red: Alright, let's hear about the kiss! Was is a soft brush against you lips or was it like a, you know, 'I gotta have you now' kind of thing?
Wendy: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
Red: So, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?
Wendy: Firt they started out on my waist and then they slid up ad then they were in my hair.
Red and Bebe: OOoooOoo~
*Meanwhile*
Stan, eating pizza with the gang at his place: and, uh, and then I kissed her.
Kyle: Did you vomit this time?
Stan: Nope!
Kenny: Tongue?
Stan: Yeah.
Cartman: Gross.

**********

Jimmy: D-dumbest scar stories, g-go!
Clyde: I wasn't paying attention and ran face first into the goal post during a soccer game.
Tweek: I b-burnt my tongue on my c-coffee.
Tolkien: I cut my hand while cutting vegetables, only to learn I was cutting them wrong anyway.
Craig: I have emotional scars.

**********

Kyle: Why do you look like that?
Kenny, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?
Kyle: Like you're dead.
Kenny: It's because I'm dying, F in chat to pay respects.
Stan: Kenny accidentally called Butters "babe" in front of everyone today.
Kenny: *Sobs into floor*

**********

Kenny: Hi guys, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?
Clyde: Microwave it for forty minutes....
Tolkien: Why were you microwaving a lemon?!
Clyde: I read boiling lemons helps cover up the scent of bad smells. I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges, but I didn't own any pots.
Craig: Did you burn an orange too? How?
Clyde: Microwave it for forty minutes....

**********

Cartman: You know guys, sometimes I feel like Kyle doesn't take me seriously enough.
Kenny: "Sometimes"?
Stan: "Enough"?
Cartman: ...
Stan: Change that to 'at all' and we'll talk.

**********

Cartman: Is the plural of Milf/Dilf 'Milfs/Dilfs' or 'Milves/Dilves'?
Kenny: Milfs/Dilfs. Milf/Dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to Milves/Dilves.
Cartman: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for?
Butters: Mom in late forties, Dad in late forties. I learnt that from a movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of probably like, five years ago?
Kenny: It stands from Mom/Dad I'd like to fuck.
Cartman: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK- I NEVER REALISED IT WAS HORNY! KENNY, YOU CALLED MY MUM A MILF!
Butters: Oh, is it not Mom/Dad in late forties?
Stan: No, it's not Butters.
Butters: That movie trailer lied to me!
Kyle: Butters...
Butters: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS/DILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT JUST STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS!
Stan: I am entirely unsurprised of that this is coming from you.
Butters: OH MY GOD, I CALLED THE MOM FROM DIARY OF A WIMPY KID A MILF.
Cartman: You guys have ruined the word milf for me.
Kenny: THAT'S IT'S DEFINITION! IT CAN'T BE RUINED, THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!
Kyle: You guys are fucking dumbasses.

**********

Kyle: I currrently have seven notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Cartman: Put spaghetti in it.
Kyle: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Kenny: Put spaghetti in it.
Kyle: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Stan: ...Put spaghetti in it.
Kyle: I am no longer taking suggestions.

**********

Butters: This food it too hot... I can't eat it.
Kenny: You're very hot and I still eat you.
Everyone at the lunch table: *Silence*
Stan: *throws food away*
Kyle: YOUR DISGUSTING KENNY!
Cartman: One lunch... I just want ONE LUNCH!

**********

Kenny: Why are your tongues purple?
Stan: We had slushies. I had a blue one.
Kyle: I had a red one.
Kenny: oh.
Kenny:
Kenny: OH
Cartman:
Cartman: You drank each others slushies?

**********

Cartman: Listen, I can explain-
Kenny: You're making $500,000 and you're only going to pay me $30,000!
Stan: You're getting thirty grand?! I'm getting one!
Kyle: You guys are getting paid?

**********

Kenny, setting down a card: Ace of spades!
Stan, putting down a card: Plus four.
Cartman, putting down a card: Jolteon, I chose you!
Kyle, shaking: What are we playing...