we pulled up to a restaurant.
" what are we doing here?"
" There goes his car." He pointed. " I planted bombs on it yesterday. I haven't detonated it yet. I figured maybe we can tail him for a little while, I wanted him to be closer to us. I put a tracking device in his sandwich yesterday, so I've been tracking him everywhere. Of course from a disposable phone. I just hate the fact that he gets to live life so normally, and he has traumatized and scarred my sister. I was going to kill him, he said no." he explained it as if it was normal.
" yes and I still say no." I chuckled.
" you can only tell me no one time, so do you want to tell me know couple weeks ago or do you wanna tell me know now?"
"What do you mean?"
" he is going to die either way. Come on let go in the restaurant and let's sit down and order some food. Come on I'm gonna talk to you." He made a call on a phone and hung up. " we can spare 35 minutes, right?" I looked at around.
"Come on."
We went into the restaurant in water immediately seated.
" I mean, if I kill him, no one would know. They won't track it back to you or me. He thinks we're friends. He doesn't even know who you are, and then fight that happened a couple months ago, it was dark outside and nobody really saw who you were. I mean, of course he knew who you were because he came back and shot your ass. But if he's dead, he can't speak."
" I don't want that on my conscious."
" you didn't kill him, I killed him."
" for me."
" for my sister. You beat my ass. We're not cool like that, does that make it better for you?" He poured the sugar on the table and started counting by the grain.
" hi, how can I help you guys out today?" He focus in on what he was doing.
" can we get two cokes? And can you just give us two burger and fry meals?"
"Uh..." she stared at him awkwardly. "Yes."
"Thank you."
" It's so surprising that this little pack of sugar holds 657 grains of sugar."
" you counted it that fast." I was amazed.
" no, I'm estimating. But usually when I estimate, I'm always right." He shrugged. " Cassidy thinks I'm crazy for it, it's very soothing, it levels me out. I love to challenge myself. I hate that everyone makes me feel crazy." He continued to count. " they don't understand me. The things that I've been through, the mental battles that I go through. Being bipolar isn't easy. Having ADHD is an easy and who knows what else mental issues I have. But I still have to get up every day and act, as if I am like everybody else. I don't like that, I don't like being put in that box, because everybody else doesn't suffer the way that I suffer so I deserve to have a different title. I hate that I scare people. I don't know what I do, I don't know when things turn left. I am sorry that I scared your daughter. You don't have to lie I saw it in her face. I don't want the people I care about to be scared of me. I try so hard to pretend just to make them feel better. My baby mom refuses to let me see my kids, and I mean I get it she was 17 when we met but she told me she was 21. I met her in the club so I guess maybe she just thought that the lies should go on. We ended up getting high, we had sex and from then on it's just been us against the world. I didn't even know that she was 17 at that time until three years later where she was pregnant again with my second child. This time she was actually 21. It was on her documents. I wanted to kill her. I really did and I scared her shitless, but I didn't mean to. I don't know what happened. They diagnosed me with BPD and APD at the center a couple weeks ago. And I'm so scared to tell people because the lady said that I could be a serial killer. I don't want people to be more scared, or think I'm crazier than they already do. Can you believe she looked me in my face and told me that I was a monster in the making. I don't want to hurt my kids, I don't want to hurt Cassidy. I don't want to do that I would never do that. I tried so hard every day. I love her so much."
