Beautiful Disaster

Endless Dark

"A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her." -Marilyn Monroe

Dean and Nyx were alone outside the motel room, Nyx leaning again the back of the Impala, Dean standing in front of her, hands in his pockets, his face one of intimidating anger.

"What do you want?" Dean finally said, his voice quite and emotionless.

"What do I want? Well, that depends." Nyx said, glaring at the man. "Are we talking about right now, or in general?"

"What do you want?" Dean asked again.

"From who?!" Nyx asked getting frustrated at the fact he's not being very clear on his question, yet she instinctively felt that he was talking about things between them.

"From me, Nyx. What do you want?!" Dean said his voice coming out in a whisper of gentle anger. He was trying to keep himself under control, but he could feel it coming undone like each link of a chain snapping apart.

"Well, for starters... Honesty, but I guess that ship sailed already. It's probably in the freaking Bahamas by now." She snapped.

Dean fought the grin that was threatening to show itself, he loved that she didn't seem afraid of him when he was like this, everyone else would cower or just walk away, but Nyx never took his crap, and he needed that in his life.

"Trust." Came her quite voice, he heard the hurt in her tone, and it felt like the knife of guilt stabbing his heart. "I guess we don't always get what we want though."

She was quite for a minute, "Out of everyone, I trusted you the most. I would give my life... I'd give my soul for you, Dean. I'd happily do it if you needed me to, and I'd do it without hesitation. I would literally die for you, if it meant you got to live. Haven't you realized that? You don't need to always sacrifice yourself, but you do it anyways for those you love, and as stage as it might sound, I admire that about you, but you need to let the ones you love return that devotion and love to you. You can't keep shutting everyone out, Dean. You keep doing that, who are you gonna have left by your side?"

Dean remain silent for a bit, "So where does this leave us?" He was trying to keep his emotions in check, but he could feel the tears burning his eyes.

"What 'us' Dean?" Nyx asked, tears flowing silently, and she didn't even care. "I thought you were my safe space, the one I could count on, yet you lied to me, and couldn't trust me enough with something that had to do with me! Sam might let you get away with that crap, but I'm not him Dean. I won't put up with it. Period."

"Sweetheart, you have to believe me, I was going to tell you about it." Dean said, his voice sounded strangled with tears.

"Wow, 'sweetheart', that's cute." Nyx laughed hysterically. "I'm not your sweetheart, and I'm not one of your bar bimbos or a supermarket slut. What I am... Is done and gone."

"Nyx, please, try to understand." Dean said, tears finally falling.

"No. I'm tired Dean, I'm tired of understanding." Nyx said, exhaustion clear in her voice. "I need to be done. I've got to figure things out."

Dean stood there as she walked away, "I'm gonna pack and then I'll be gone. You wanted to do this on your own, so congrats Lone Ranger, you got your wish."

"I didn't-" Dean tried, but the sadness he felt was too strong.

"Dean?" Nyx said.

"Yeah?" He replied in a broken whisper.

"Don't- Please, don't get dead." Nyx said just as quietly, and turned to face him with the tears in her eyes still falling. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but it would make saying goodbye harder on her than it already was.

Dean just nodded, "Don't get dead either Nyx." Dean gave her a smile through his tears, and that image would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Dean watched the spot where Nyx was once standing with Cas, he stayed there for what felt like hours.

"Dean, she's gone." Sam said quietly, laying a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I know Sammy." Dean whispered, a fresh wave of tears silently streaming down his face.

"Come inside, and we'll find something for you to kill?" Sam asked, trying to make Dean feel better.

Dean knew Sam was trying, but he also knew that even though it was for the best, Nyx would be the heartache that wouldn't stop hurting if he didn't keep his mind off of her. He'd drop everything for her if she called him and needed him.

"Stupid!" Nyx whispered angrily. She was back at Bobby's, he tried to talk to her, but she just went upstairs, and locked herself in her room. That's all she'd do lately when she wasn't hunting with Bobby.

Nyx eventually decided she needed to get out on her own, live life a little between hunting, so she was looking for places to live.

A few months went by, Nyx was talking to Jody about looking for a place, and the woman offered Nyx a room, so Nyx was packing and moving her stuff in with the sheriff.

The car was loaded, "I'll still see you Bobby, I'm still local."

"I know." He said trying to not get emotional. " I know I ain't your daddy, but you're still my little munchkin."

"Bobby, you raised me. I've always thought of you as my dad. Hell, if I get married, I'll be offended if you don't walk me down the aisle." Nyx said, laughing at the end.

"Try and stop me." Bobby said, he gave Nyx a hug.

"I promise, we'll have weekly dinners, and you know if you need help with anything, I'm a call away." Nyx told her dad. "And please, whatever you do, don't tell Dean." She gave him a puppy look, tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"You know I could never say no to that face."

"Thanks." She whispered, giving him another hug. "I love you!"

Nyx got in the car and was on her way to a new chapter of her life.

"I didn't lose you. You lost me. You'll search for me inside of everyone you're with, and I won't be found." -r.h. Sin