Icarus | Z.M.

53 | Gold

Zayn Malik

I made no more effort to speak to Victoria for the rest of the night.

She was clear with me, had told me countless times that she didn't want me anywhere near her and wanted to be left alone. As much as that pained me to do, I eventually had to give in and respect that decision. I wanted to talk to her, to sit down and explain what had happened and what she had found, but she didn't want to talk to me.

I couldn't be mad at her. I was wrong for getting annoyed. I had no idea what she was going through after finding that video and she had every right to be angry, disgusted and confused. I was angry because I felt those emotions too, I was angry about that video, disgusted that her privacy had been invaded. I had no right to feel angry, especially towards her. I just hated how quickly that trust I had built with her disappeared.

I'd left her to sleep, I hoped she got some sleep so that I could talk to her in the morning. She needed time to process what she had seen first before she could talk to me about it and hear me out at all.

I didn't really know what to do in this situation. She was upset and she was hurt. If it had been anyone else, I probably couldn't have given less of a shit. But her. I didn't want to see her cry, I wanted to do everything in my power to avoid having her cry.

In her head, I just wasn't somebody she could trust. How could I blame her? We had been essentially forced together. I had never once done anything to get her to trust me, besides being nicer to her than I was when we first met. I worked for her father. The same piece of shit that hit her as a child, hit her still today, tried to whore her off to any of his associates to gain more power for himself. If he was capable of that, he was more than capable of planting someone in her life to manipulate her, to gain her trust to report back how she really was and what she was doing to her father.

Now that I thought about it, this had obviously been something that had been building up in her head for a long time. She had no idea if she could trust me or not. Every time I did something for her, she reminded me I was only doing it because I got paid. Every time I kissed her, and she reminded me we shouldn't. Anytime I got close to her, and she pulled herself away, a defence mechanism to stop herself from getting hurt.

I regretted it, the way I acted earlier when she was expressing her feelings. She told me her insecurities and I shut them down and belittled them as if it was something stupid and she was acting irrationally. When in reality it was the opposite. Of course she thought I couldn't be trusted. She was right to be scared, worried about us hooking up because I could quite easily go and tell her father if I wanted to.

The sound of loud banging, crashing, some sort of noise coming from downstairs caught my attention and snapped me out of my thoughts. I had just been sitting on the edge of my bed, staring ahead at the wall and replaying that entire last hour with Victoria over and over in my head, thinking about everything different I wish I'd said.

I left the bedroom and made my way towards the stairs to go down and see what the noise was. A part of me wanted to quickly run upstairs and check on Victoria, to see if she was still in her room or if she was getting some rest. But we were the only ones in the house, she had to be downstairs and had dropped something.

But when I entered the kitchen, I just sighed and rolled my eyes.

It was not Victoria.

In front of me, stood three drunk idiots.

Niall was the first to make eye contact with me. His pupils were dilated, and his eyes were bright red and bloodshot. His face was a little flushed too. Him and Hazel were practically squished together like they wanted to be one person.