Him & I

36

"I'll come by the workshop today after school. Promise not to slack from here-on."

"Fine, Fine but wait." I jog to cover up the now large space between us thanks to his long legs that could cover ten steps with one. I'm grateful he's stopped going any further, though his frustrated sigh reveals he wants to.

"What?"

"Be safe, alright. That's really all I care about." I tell him and his eyes actually go soft.

"I'm alright, Melissa." He says then opens his mouth but closes it.

"What is it?"

"Are you really with Tyler?"

I jut my hands into the pockets of my blazer to give me time to think for an answer. Am I?

"It's okay if you are."

"No. I mean, no we're not. The thing is we kinda know each other a little. He comes around my street and we talk sometimes, that's pretty much it. The picture was taken at a strategic angle." I like Tyler, obviously, but I'm not sure if he really does like me or I'm just seeing things I want to see. I don't know what page he's on, and whatever page it is he hasn't kept me on it with him.

And if I'm actually just seeing things I want to see, then I'd better not spread any false news. Even to a close friend.

I look up to meet Nathan's blue orbs that seem to be studying me. Despite clearly not appearing to believe a word I said, he says, "Okay. I'll see you around then."

"Mhm."

I watch him walk away, and just as he gets completely out of view, there's Amy, strutting towards the left wing like a super model. We haven't exactly met eye to eye since my split with Pamela.

But I bet she's happy about it.

The air-conditioners aren't on around here and the weather isn't even cold, but I shove my hands into my pockets to find warmth while going down the final stairs to ground floor. Or perhaps it's an answer I'm looking for, not warmth.

Should I eat in the cafeteria or find somewhere secluded from humanity to eat at then feel awkward when someone randomly walks in and wonders why I'm not eating where everyone else is?

The answer is obviously the second one. But that's such a Melissa thing to do. There are times when, yes, it appears I betrayed my best friend. Consciously didn't let her in on an important detail in my life, and in some twisted way, my mind even goes as far as making me feel I stole Tyler Jones from her.

But there are times when my mind's clear. Completely clear. And it does not appear that I betrayed my best friend. It appears that she has, by taking things way too far, cutting me off entirely.

I place my hands on the mahogany door that must be too fancy to merely be the door to the cafeteria, close my eyes and try mentally reminding myself why I'm not some imperfect sinner who's committed a crime.

"Um, are you gonna go in or..?"

My eyes fly open and I turn around to find the voice. It's a dark haired boy I think is from a lower grade- maybe a freshman.

"Sorry. You can.. you can go in. I'll just— I'm waiting for someone."

He probably doesn't care what I have to say, offers a tight smile then steps past me into the noisy room.

Gather yourself together, Melissa. One deep breath.

Well.

Considering the amount of courage it took to finally step inside, I low key thought I'd have all eyes on me. Low key. But thankfully, no. The cafeteria's bubbling with conversations, laughter and cutlery clinking on silverware. Even the doorway is busy so much that a taller guy bumps my shoulders, doesn't apologize or notice in the first place. Reminding me to better get a seat.