King of China

Guilt

Was upset enough a word to describe what Prince Ga Yi was feeling right now?

Absolutely not.

First, he hated with his whole soul the fact that Yi Eun was looking at him. The Prince could feel his eyes on him.

Why did it have to be an encouraging and warm gaze?

The banquet had just started and as usual, Minghao was sitting to his right. That wasn't the problem.
The problem was to his left, where Prince Youngjae was sitting.

The latter was currently answering a question one of his councilors had just asked. That had given Ga Yi some time to think.

He was trying in vain to understand what was going on. Why was he so attracted to this Prince?

The Prince shook his head slightly, that was a lie.

Ga Yi was way beyond being simply attracted to that man. If that were true, well then he wouldn't have thought about him the whole time earlier when he and Yi Eun had-

"My Prince?"

Ga Yi turned himself to face the voice that had called him.

Prince Youngjae was smiling at him, absolutely melting his heart along the way.

"Tell me" he said, unsure if Youngjae had already spoken and would have to repeat himself.
"I wanted to thank you for this banquet, it wasn't necessary" said the visitor. "Especially since we did have tea this afternoon. It was already an honor to spend time with his Highness."

Ga Yi smirked gently. This afternoon's tea was all he could think about. It had built up so much tension inside of him that he had called Yi Eun to his room before the banquet.

"Of course it was necessary" he replied, pushing his shameful thoughts away. "It is a great honor to receive Korea's Crown Prince."

A shadow passed on Youngjae's face but before Ga Yi could ask if everything was okay, Yibo had come in between them to serve more food to his Prince.

Ga Yi settled back a while, trying to chase Youngjae's smile from his mind.
His eyes rapidly met Yi Eun's, who wasn't sitting that far from him.

Had he noticed anything ?

~

The banquet had lasted quite a while, which felt like tortue to Ga Yi. He tried to politely talk to Prince Youngjae, refraining himself from having the actual conversation he wanted to have with him. They had spent their tea time talking more freely than ever and for once in his life, Ga Yi had felt like he could finally breathe.

Korea's Crown Prince was so intriguing, so interesting that the few personal information Ga Yi had gathered about him earlier only had gotten him more curious.

However, he knew that all eyes, including his brother's and his boyfriend's were on him.
So politically correct dried conversation it was.

All this pressure was actually why Ga Yi hated his life.
Why was he Crown Prince again?

If he had been born someone normal, he would have experienced freedom, friendship and love like anyone else.
See, as Crown Prince he could count on one hand the people he could plainly trust.

There was obviously his mother, the Queen, and his brother, Minghao, his only family.
Then there his oldest friend, and well, his first valet, Yibo. Their relationship had started quite bumpily, however along the years Ga Yi had found a true friend and confident in him.
Nowadays, he would trust him with his life without hesitation.

And finally.. there was Yi Eun.
He was the son of the Queen most trusted advisor and councilor. The latter had passed away five years ago, leaving his young heir to take care of everything his title came with.

Yi Eun was also his best friend and his lover.

Ga Yi couldn't even remember when it had started, he just knew he had always thought Yi Eun was the one for him.
They had discovered so many things together, from how to kiss to how to build a good relationship. They had spent so many nights talking about nothing.
Dreaming their lives away.

Ga Yi met Yi Eun's eyes again and all he could see was love.

Love he didn't deserve anymore.
Love he had betrayed a few hours earlier.

~

"Hey"

The Crown Prince turned himself in his bed, back to the door. He could nonetheless see the light coming from the hallway torches invading his bedroom.

He heard the footsteps coming closer as soon as the door closed. He knew them by heart. He had heard the every single night for years when Yi Eun came to bed with him.

"You did well today" said Yi Eun in a whisper as he put the blanket over him.

Ga Yi felt his boyfriend sneaking closer to him.

His scent was as comforting as always.
His warmth was as welcoming as always.

Ga Yi had never hated himself more than right now, and it grew worse when he felt the older hugging him from behind.

Yi Eun didn't deserve this, the Crown Prince knew that, yet, he didn't have the strength to tell him what was going on. During all of the years their relationship had lasted, they had always been honest. They had told each other everything.
But how could he tell him the truth now?

After all, only a day had passed, right?
This obsession for Korea's Crown Prince would go away right?
Things could go back to what they were between Yi Eun and him, right?

"I'm exhausted too" whispered Yi Eun, snuggling closer to the Prince. "We should rest."

Ga Yi didn't reply. He let his boyfriend kiss his shoulder and rearrange his arm in order to fall asleep in his favorite position.

The Prince wouldn't fall asleep so easily, he knew that. Not when he was feeling so guilty.

Well, he wasn't feeling guilty at this point.
He simply was guilty.