Be Mine, Always

chapter seventeen

Melody’s POV~Present Day 

        My palms sweat as I again drag out the box with our old memories in them. In bed the night before, he asked to see the box I had of our things. Ever since our country bar date he has been sleeping in my room and things almost feel normal again. We snuggle while we watch TV, he cooks breakfast and dinner and we kiss, frequently. 

        The old engagement ring is still on my finger and I've realized I don't have the heart to take it off, not because I consider us still engaged but because it infuses me with the happiness I used to feel.

        Xander sits on our bed and slowly I turn with the box of momentos. His hair is damp from our shower and water glistens on his skin. Swallowing hard, I sit beside him and offer a small smile. He grabs the letters from the end stand to add to the box when we are finished. "How often did you look at this?" He asked, twining his fingers seamlessly with me. 

        "Almost never," I admit, gripping the lifeline he's offered me. "It hurt too much to look," I say, resting my head on his shoulder. 

        He takes the box and opens it with one hand. A soft intake of breath is the only sound in the room. It makes me feel better to know he's just as affected by our past as me. His fingers touch the same pictures I combed through weeks ago and I turn my face to watch his profile, a sad, reminiscent smile gracing his handsome face. 

        “I remember this.” He holds up a polaroid that we took of us on the bridge over the Ohio River. The lights were so beautiful and I wanted to capture them, but most of the pictures consist of us being goofy, one is even of me butt. 

        I smile as I touch the picture, my skin lightly brushes his and electricity zings up my arm throughout my body at the accidental touch. “We raced each other to the state line and your laugh sounded like music. It was so quiet but your laugh was just like a tinkle in the air. Even though you lost. I suspect it was due to your laughing.” 

        I do remember. The ache in my thighs from running so far and so long, and my belly from laughing so hard. I totally lost because I was laughing and I won’t accept another answer. With a smile, I nod. “Your pants almost fell off and I think you did lose a shoe. We almost couldn’t find it on our way back,” I add. “Do you remember that I had to pee really bad and the bathrooms were locked so you gave me an old McDonald’s cup to pee in?” 

        He laughs and tips his head back. “That was hilarious.” 

        “It was embarrassing!” I protest. 

        He shrugs and chuckles. “You gotta do what you gotta do sometimes,” he teases. 

        I roll my eyes and look away from the pictures and instead focus on his face once more. 

        A three day stubble kisses his cheeks and his hair is slightly shorter than before. Creases form at the corner of his eyes and my eyes dip to his throat as his protruding Adam's apple bobs. His muscles relax and a chuckle works its way up his throat, the sound tickling my inside. 

        I'm so absorbed in his facial expressions that I don't realize he's reached the bottom of the box until he turns those eyes on me. My breath releases from my lungs, the simple beauty of him knocking me over. His eyes bounce between my parted lips and my eyes. "I love you, Melody," he whispers. 

        The words shake me to my core. It's not an out there assumption to think he would still love me, but hearing him say it to my face with no uncertainty is jarring. My heart yearns to say it back, but the rest of me hesitates. Am I ready to trust him with my heart again? When he wrought pleasure upon my body it was easy to get caught up in the emotions of how I truly felt. But in the light of day, I can't say I'm ready to admit to him this one last thing.