Be Mine, Always

chapter fourteen

Xander’s POV~ Six Years Ago

        My head was groggy and foggy from the late night I pulled with homework. I had been so busy with Melody, it left little time to do homework, so I used the time I was alone at night to do my homework. Tonight though I’d be sneaking into her room and showing her how much I missed her last night. 

        We spent very little time apart but any time we weren’t together I felt something in my chest pulling in the direction of her house where I knew she was laying on her plush queen sized bed, reading in nothing but her panties. My pants tightened and I ran a hand over my face. Damn that girl was killing me. 

        I got up from my desk to walk into the kitchen to make myself a glass of orange juice, but then I heard low voices coming from the living room. It was a Thursday night, the gang never came over on a weekday, they only got together at our house on Fridays and Saturdays. 

        My fathers voice carried through the din of noise, quieting the murmuring. I stood in the kitchen, hidden from view, listening to the impromptu meeting. 

        “Thanks for coming boys, Evan.” 

        My heart stopped, Evan. Evan and I used to be friends, but then he got pulled into our dad’s gang, serving as some sort of prospect to the gang, doing dirty work. Once he started to get his hands dirty with the illegal shit, I cut things off. That was even before I met Melody. 

        “You have served us well. Your father and I think it’s time to initiate you,” My dad said. 

        Shuffling sounded and I heard papers be handed to Evan. “This is the name of a girl we want you to bring to us, she lives alone, no one will miss her.” My blood chills and my stomach churns. Could they really have been talking about kidnapping a girl? “You’ll have the first go at her, then she’s ours.” The men chuckled. 

        My throat closed around the horror at what they were planning. I never questioned the women who were with the gang, but could they be victims? There were plenty of women who enjoyed being groupies for gangs. 

        Fuck. 

        “When?” Was all Evan said and I closed my eyes. He was really going to do it. What had he become? He used to be a good guy, the class clown, goofy around girls. Maybe that wasn’t enough for him…

        “Saturday night,” His father said.

        I filed that away in my mind and rushed back to my room before they could disperse and see me. My mind spun at everything I heard, I couldn’t let evan do that. There was no way. I had to find some way to stop him. Once he did that, if he completed his initiation there would be no going back, he’d be a criminal, a rapist. 

        Sleep didn’t find me easily and it wasn’t surprising when I woke up what felt like a few hours later to the sun shining through the window. I was like a zombie getting ready for school, walking there and attending class. 

        My gaze roamed the halls for Evan, searching for the boy I used to know. I wondered if the girl in front of me in math could be next. It was all too much. 

        By the time lunch rolled around and I was sitting beneath the bleachers, I hadn’t even noticed I hadn’t seen Melody the whole day. She ducked her head, walking under the bleachers, the sun dappling in her pure blonde hair, green eyes wide with worry as she sank to her knees beside me. 

        “Xander?” She whispered, touching my face. 

        I snapped myself from the daze that had taken over me and really looked at her. Her eyes were puffy and her face looked paler than usual. “Are you sick?” I asked, my voice muffled in my ears. 

        Her brows bunched on her beautiful face as she searched my face. “Where have you been? You didn’t come over last night and I’ve been trying to talk to you all morning but I couldn’t find you. In class you didn’t even look at me…” 

        Her words pushed away the last dregs of the haze I’d fallen in and I shook my head, pulling her into my lap, hugging her slim waist. “Baby,” I whispered, face buried in her neck, surrounded by her soft coarse hair, the strands caressing my face as she held me close to her.  

        “What’s wrong?” She asked, her hands rubbing soothing circles around my back, offering me her comfort. “Are you mad at me?” 

        I shook my head. “Of course not, baby. I just have a lot on my mind.” I craved to tell her what I heard last night, but I knew it would only scare her. This wasn’t her reality, her life. She was used to feeling safe… I chastised myself, that wasn’t true. Physically yes she may have always been safe, but no one ever took care of her mentally. I couldn’t bring this to her door. 

        She pulled back to look me in the face. “Talk to me... Does it have to do with what happened?” Her green gaze searched my face.

        I knew she was referring to last Saturday when she had some over while the gang was there. I had been fucking frantic seeing her in my driveway with hogface about to touch her. Seeing that outstretched hand made me see red, no one touched my girl who wasn’t me. 

        For the first time in our relationship, I lied to her. “Yes, love. It just keeps replaying in my head.” 

        She shook her head, her fingers touching my face lightly, her lips brushed over my skin giving me kisses. “Xander, it’s all okay. I promised not to surprise you especially on the weekends and you got there. No need to brood over something that didn’t happen.” She kissed my lips and I tightened my arms around her, squeezing her. 

        I smiled up at her softly, brushing those blonde strands behind her ear. “You’re the best baby.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead, my gut squeezing at having to look at her face so full of love and trust. Something I didn’t deserve, especially right then. “Can we just sit here?” I couldn’t stand looking at her anymore when I felt so sick. 

        She smiled and nodded, she situated between my legs, curled up and rested her head on my chest. I held her tight, stroking a hand over her hair, kissing the top of her head. Her heart beat against my stomach and I closed my eyes at the steady thump thump of her heart. The one I took pride in caring for so delicately. 

        Now I have battered it and she doesn’t even know yet. Maybe other girls would have questioned me further, demanded to talk, but not her. She took my words without question, because I had fostered and built up the trust between us like it was a temperamental flower. 

        I squeezed her tight and closed my eyes, questioning everything. I didn’t want Evan to become a criminal without at least trying to stop him. But at what cost to the girl in my arms? To the relationship I have built with her over two years. I asked her to fucking marry me and at the first big decision that she should most likely be a part of, I lied. 

        Fucking, idiot. 

        Later that night, when I laid in her bed, pressed against Melody’s sleeping and naked body, I looked down at her and knew that I had to stop Evan. She would want me to, even though I lied to her. She believed in second chances, in saving those who we cared about.

        Would she forgive the lie? 

        Saturday was only a day away and I had one day day to find out the where and who of the equation. I would tell her after. No big deal. This would only be a blip on our radar compared to the rest of our lives. 

        I cocooned her in my arms, hoping to abate the hole gathering in my chest with her body. But it didn’t work. I closed my eyes and prayed I wasn’t making the biggest mistake of my life.