Be Mine, Always

Chapter One

Melody’s POV~ Present Day

        Seeing him again is like a punch to the gut. It's been four years since I saw him face to face. Six since he was put in prison. Now he lounges on my couch drinking a beer. I have no idea where he got one considering I don't drink. My blood freezes in my veins and heat overwhelms my skin. 

        My hands tremble when I think about the letter I wrote four years ago. 

Dear Xander,

I can't wait anymore. 

-Melody

        There had been two letters, one with everything I truly felt and the one I sent. I couldn't stand baring my heart and soul to him, telling him it ripped me up inside to break up with him. That I loved him and I always would. 

        My throat closes at the memory and I force myself to stay rooted to my spot. "What are you doing here?" My voice doesn't have any of the authority I wish it had. 

        "I told you I would find you when I got out. Always." His eyes are gray, like a rolling storm. 

        My stomach churns and I smooth my sweaty palms over my pants. "I wrote you a letter." 

        He snaps and points at me and the sudden movement causes me to flinch. Xander has never hurt me before, not even by accident. But I don't know the man in front of me. This man was in prison for six years. 

        "Yes, you did. Many." He shifts and pulls out a stack of letters from somewhere behind him and tosses the stack of letters on the coffee table. Most are worn with age, my writing faded as if he couldn't help but touch the words I poured from my heart. "I have them all." He pulled out one separate, it's so white and pristine. I know what letter that is. 

        I swallow hard and take a deep breath. "I've moved on." Though the words are technically true, I have a new boyfriend, but my heart hasn't. I was starting to hope I would, Nate is so sweet, but now I don't think I will. 

        Xander rubs his forehead like he's exasperated then leans back into the cushions of the couch. "I know. I saw you two together." 

        I don't even want to know how he saw us. Anger bubbles in my veins and my fists ball at my sides. "It's serious."

        Those stormy eyes flick towards me and his nostrils flare. "You still have the necklace I gave you." 

        "I let him kiss me." I plunge ahead, ignoring the weight around my neck. 

        His knuckles turn white as he grips the bottle. "It doesn't matter." 

        He doesn't mean it. Xander is possessive. He was when he was a teenager and I know as a man it would be even more overwhelming. "I let him touch me," I breathe. Technically true, however nothing passed hand holding and chaste kisses.

        Xander explodes from the couch, crowding me in against the wall, his hands caging me. "Shut. Your. Mouth. Melody." He grits. 

        I tip my chin up, looking into the eye of the storm head on. I'm not his anymore. No matter how much he wants me to be. He had a choice. And he chose to leave me. "We've talked about having sex." I wince when I realize my mistake. 

        He smirks and his hand comes up to cup my jaw, his long fingers wrap around the back of my neck. My breathing hitches and I press my hands against his solid stomach in an attempt to keep him away. Just touching him makes my skin tingle. 

        "Talked about. But you didn't." His voice is a smooth glide over my skin and a match on gasoline in my veins. 

        I close my eyes and turn away from him. "It has nothing to do with you." I lie. 

        He nuzzles my temple, his warm breath puffing over my bare neck. "Ah, babygirl, you were always such a bad liar." His lips brush against my skin as he speaks. 

        I deflate against the wall and I attempt to pick up the bricks of my walls he brought down with his mere presence. 

        "Break up with him, Melody." His voice is guttural. 

        "I like him," I whisper. 

        "Like being the operative word." 

        A sigh releases from my chest and tears sting my eyes. 

        His thumb swipes beneath my eye, catching a runaway tear. "You don't deserve to cry," he whispers. It's not unlike the voice he used after we made love for the first time. 

        My heart squeezes and I try to move from his arms but he wraps an arm around my waist, clutching me against his body. "You told me you'd wait for me." His lips press against my ear and more tears fall down my face as angry sadness takes over. 

        "I did wait! I waited two and a half years, Xander! You were supposed to be out in three. I waited, despite the fact you chose your fathers fucked up approval over me. Over us. You were so close to getting released. I was ecstatic. I'd finally get to be with you and we could forget about everything." Sobs break up my words as the memories flood to me. All the visits, the hours and hours spent at the prison just to see him for one measly hour. The letters I wrote detailing my day and my feelings and fond memories. 

        My fists pound at his broad chest. "But you chose again to be away from me. You could've gotten out. But you fought, over and over again until they tacked on another three years to your sentence. And do you remember the reason?" I poke his chest hard and pain swims in his eyes, but I don't care. Not anymore. "Family honor," I whisper the last bit. "The beat up rag tag gang your father started was your family more to you than I ever was, apparently. Because in choosing that path, you left me behind." 

        "Melody…" his hands become gentler as he cups my cheeks in his calloused hands. 

        I turn from his soft grip and push him away. He backs away, unaffected by my push. "I want you to leave." 

        Sadness overtakes his face as he scoops up the letters, leaving only one. He pauses by the door. "I will be back tomorrow," he says. 

        "I don't care." Emptiness settles. Cold, hard emptiness. A void. This is exactly how I felt for two years after I sent that final letter. I didn't know how to cope. And maybe, I still don't.