Letters ||Choi Beomgyu✔️

20

"Sorry, Haein-ah. I know you don't want to talk to him but it was freezing so I let the poor kid in." Taehyun spoke from the other side of the door because Haein refused to unlock her room door. He sighed, giving Beomgyu a sympathetic look before walking away.

Beomgyu sighed, his eyes filled with hurt and pain. "Haein," he spoke softly. She was sitting with her back against her room door, a straight face on as she heard his voice and instantly felt like she was choking on a sob. He knocked softly, "Please, please just talk to me."

No response.

Beomgyu sighed, leaning his forehead against the door. "I know I messed up but at least let me explain."

Haein shut her eyes, inhaling deeply but she didn't move.

Beomgyu bit the inside of his cheek. "I know I should walk away, let it go, let you go but I can't. I just can't. I don't want to either because I can't imagine not seeing your smile or hearing your laugh again."

Beomgyu waited for an answer but didn't receive one.

When he hadn't spoke in a few minutes, Haein sighed, thinking that maybe he had left.

Beomgyu sat down on the ground outside her room, leaning his back against the door the same way hers was inside. "It all hurts but for some reason we never give up. Maybe I should, maybe it would be easier, maybe it would even be right because I did hurt you. I did the one thing that I wanted to protect you from but I swear to you, Haein, I never, ever meant to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you."

Beomgyu sighed, leaning his head back against the door. Haein felt tears brimming in her eyes.

"You're too good a person for this world, Haein. This world doesn't even deserve so how could I possibly deserve you?" Beomgyu let out a flat chuckle, shaking his head. He didn't care how sappy and pathetic he sounded, he just wanted her to know how much he cared for her.

He licked his lips, "I'm an idiot, I know that. All I ever wanted was for you to trust me. I just wanted to... be here for you and hold you and protect you. And maybe you didn't need that but I did. I wanted to be the one to make you happy. I wanted to know that you knew how important you are."

Beomgyu shut his eyes for a moment. "The first day I met you, outside in the parking lot - that's when I knew that you were special. You're precious and innocent in this sweet but intoxicating way. It's like I just wanted to be around you all the time because you would make everything feel so easy and relaxed. You just have a thing about you, where no matter what you do, it just melts my heart and makes me smile, because God, you're adorable and precious in every way."

Haein felt her heart swell up hearing these words. She was conflicted on what to do or say. Tears were silently rolling down her cheeks as she bit onto her lip to control her emotions.

Beomgyu smiled softly, "Everything you do makes me smile. When you hide your blush or your smile - I wish you wouldn't because it's... just beautiful. Do I sound creepy right now? I probably do," he let out a small chuckle.

Haein let out a breathy chuckle that Beomgyu didn't hear.

"I know... what I did, it was wrong. I am so sorry that I hurt you and betrayed your trust because that is the last thing I wanted. I'm not even sure why I did it, myself, so I don't know how to explain why I did what I did. I just... wanted to know you, know what you were feeling, know that you were okay. And it was wrong, I know that. I should have been patient and allowed you to open up when you were ready to but I fucked up and I cannot apologize enough for that."

Beomgyu wanted to slam his own head against the door.

Haein made no move to respond to him which made his heart ache even more. At this point, he wasn't even sure she was listening but he didn't care, he needed to let it all out no matter how much of an idiot it made him sound like.

He licked his lips, "I just... when I'm with you, I laugh harder, I feel more like myself than I am with anyone, I just want to spend hours talking to you about anything. I never knew finding a single letter would draw me towards you the way it did. And maybe, if I had known I would feel this way, I would have never talked to you, Haein, because then I could have prevented you from getting hurt by me." Beomgyu exhaled deeply. "God. Wow, holy fuck, Kang Haein, I think I am in-love with you."

Haein froze, her breath feeling like it got stuck in her throat.

Beomgyu sat forward, blinking. Did I just say that out-loud? Since when am I in-love with her? Beomgyu hadn't even realized it himself until the words left his mouth.

Haein's mouth went agape as she suddenly forgot how to breath. Her whole insides were squirming, her body feeling like a jolt of electricity was going through each blood cell.

Haein exhaled slowly through her noes, not even sure she heard him right.

Haein, slowly and shakily stood up. Her hand rested on the doorknob as she hesitated to open the door.

Beomgyu blinked, standing up. He shook his head, realizing her should just leave. He headed for the stairs when the door opened.

"You're just going to say you love me and walk away?"

Beomgyu spun around faster than he thought was possible. His eyes were wide.

"Haein," he exhaled, a warm feeling going through his body as he heard her voice after what seemed like forever.

"Well," she crossed her arms over her chest, her face straight.

He blinked, unsure of what to say. "Haein, I'm so sorry."

She frowned a little, "You messed up."

Beomgyu nodded quickly, "I know. I know I did and I should have never read those letters because I know they were per-"

Haein shook her head, cutting him off, "Not because of the letters. Well those too."

Beomgyu gave her an odd look, "Then... messed up with what?"

Haein gave him a very, very small and sad smile.

"You messed up by falling for the broken, damaged girl."