Letters ||Choi Beomgyu✔️

18

Haein, can we please talk. Just let me explain." Beomgyu was practically begging, standing in front of her table where she sat in the library.

Haein ignored him, picking up her book and walking out of the library.

Beomgyu wanted to hurt someone, to punch anything, even himself.

He knew all along that what he was doing by reading her letters was wrong. Especially after they had become friends and she had started to trust him. He knew he should stop and he wanted to, he even tried to but then he couldn't help himself.

It was the only way he could know how Haein was feeling, to know what she was thinking and to get a brief glimpse on what was going on.

He didn't excuse it because he knew he messed up. He should have returned the first letter he had ever found.

He tried to justify it in his head, tried to come up with ways to explain this to Haein so she could know that he was only ever worried about her but he knew there was no use. Nothing he said would be good enough, nothing would make her trust him again.

Haein, on the other hand, was nothing but hurt.

With everything else that she was dealing with, she only hated herself more and blamed herself for ever opening up to Beomgyu in the first place. She had been played and hurt by someone exactly like Beomgyu before. She knew better but she was starting to like him and enjoy his company so she ignored her instincts and let herself get close to him anyways.

She thought it was nobody but her own fault.

She clenched and unclenched her fists numerous times, not sure how to handle all the anxiety and hurt she was feeling. She tried to write but the only line she could manage was

'you can't destroy me because I destroy myself'.

She groaned aloud in her room as she crumpled up the paper and chucked it across her bedroom. She slammed her head down against her desk, letting it rest there with her eyes shut.

She couldn't even write anymore because every time she tried to, she would be reminded that all of those personal and private letters she had wrote for herself, they weren't just for herself. She was left like an open and vulnerable book for Beomgyu to secretly be reading.

"Hey, Haein-ah," Her room door was slowly opened and Taehyun walked in. He gave her a sad smile. "Are you okay?"

Haein inhaled deeply as she lifted her head off her desk, "I'm fine, Tae."

He frowned as he sat down on her bed, "You're not. And that's okay."

Haein shook her head, looking at her brother with a blank face. "Really, I don't care."

Taehyun's eyebrows pulled together, seeing that Haein was really not okay right now. "You don't have to hide it from me. What samc- I mean, what happened was fucked up and wrong on so many levels and I am so sorry I wasn't here to stop it from happening agai-"

"Stop," Haein cut him off, shutting her eyes softly. She inhaled sharply before opening her eyes again, shaking her head. "It is in no way your fault, Taehyun. Do not do that again."

"If I was here earlier, I could-"

"You couldn't have stopped it," she cut him off again, speaking quietly, her voice weak. "What happened, it would have happened anyways because... well uncle Min finds a way."

Taehyun clenched his jaw and his fists, angry as they spoke about that man they had to call their samchon. "We could tell appa. Appa would make sure it would never happen again. That he would never even breath near you again."

Haein shook her head softly, sighing. She was exhausted with everything. "No. Appa has gone through enough hurt. I don't want to ruin another relationship for him. He already lost eomma, he shouldn't have to lose a donsaeng too."

Taehyun placed his head down in his hands, clenching a fistful of hair. "It's not right. I swear to you Haein," he looked up again. "I will not let that man step a foot near you again."

Haein nodded her head slowly before spinning on her chair so she was no longer facing Taehyun.

"What happened?" Taehyun's voice was soft. "Did something else happen too?"

"No."

"That's a lie. I know you, Haein. I can tell there's more on your mind. And you're not writing so it must be a lot."

Haein stayed silent, not wanting to bring up Leo.

"What is it?" Taehyun kept asking. "Is it Dani or Kai?"

Haein again, remained silent which Taehyun took as a no anyways. "Not them. Who then? Appa? Did you two get into an argument?"

"No," Haein sighed, still not looking at her brother.

"Then who else could it- wait, Beomgyu? You two have gotten close, right?"

Haein shut her eyes tightly.

"It is," Taehyun stood up. He walked over to her and spun the chair around so she would look at him but her eyes were still shut. "What did he do, Hae?" Taehyun's voice was cold and harsh, he was angry.

Haein sighed as she opened her eyes slowly. "Look, it's nothing, really. He just... was hiding something from me and now I don't know if I can trust him."

Taehyun narrowed his eyes, "Did he hurt you?"

Haein shrugged, "No, not physically or anything. I just can't trust him right now."

Taehyun's jaw clenched causing Haein to give him a tired look. "I promise you, he did nothing that deserves a punch or two. Please, for me Taehyun, do not hurt him or say anything or go after him."

Taehyun paused, crossing his arms over his chest. "Are you sure? Because I swear to God, if he hurt you, I will not hesitate to-"

"I'm sure!" Haein cut him off, looking at him with wide eyes. "It's nothing like that. Think of it like... an argument I would have with Dani."

Haein knew it was more than that. He had broken trust, betrayed her, gone behind her back and lied to her face.

But she knew that with Taehyun being as protective as he was, he would hurt Beomgyu badly and Haein didn't want Beomgyu to get hurt, even if he had hurt her.

Taehyun exhaled, nodding. "Fine, but if that's what needs to be done, you don't hesitate to tell me."

"Yes, sir," Haein rolled her eyes as she started pushing Taehyun out of her room. "Now leave, I need to study."

As soon as Haein had left her room, she shut the door and let her back slide down against the door until she was sitting, hugging her legs to her chest.

Over and over again, her mind kept replaying all the conversations she had with Beomgyu. Now, she could no longer see any of it or any of him the same way.