Going Nowhere ➳ C.C/L.J

thirteen

"I feel like I need a companion. Maybe like a puppy." She began reading, "I mean the girls are great but I need something to take care of. I feel so unneeded."

"Jesus, I'm a fucking whiner." I groaned throwing my head back in annoyance.

Camila tapped Lauren's arms happily, "Oh but she's right. Can we please get a tour puppy?!"

"If we get a puppy it'll stay here with Y/N. She's the one who wants it."

"God, lets move on."

Lauren flipped through pages and scanned the paper quietly before clearing her throat, "August 16th. Today would've been one year since- Let's not read this one."

"Why not?" I asked in a soft tone.

She glared me down, "Its about your mom, babe."

"Oh." That's all I could say. Nothing more and nothing less.

Lauren flipped through another page and scanned through it quickly then turned an angry glare at me. "What?" I asked.

She shook her head and
clinched her jaw while turning the corner down on the page, "Nothing."

"It's obviously something. You seem angry."

Camila grabbed the journal from her and began reading to herself with her mouth slightly agape. When she was done she sat the book down and frowned, "Yeah. I told you this wouldn't be a good idea."

"What the fuck are your issues? You just read my thoughts and don't even say 'em out loud. I thought this was supposed to help me remember things." I scolded them.

If they're private thoughts and you were letting someone read them to help you, wouldn't you be mad that they are just keeping it to themselves?

Lauren got up from the beanbag, "I gotta go help Ally clean up for family tomorrow."

Camila grabbed her hand to try and get her to stay, "Lo, she didn't mean it."

Lauren nodded her off and walked out of the room.

"What didn't I mean?" I feel like I'm in a coma once again. I'm just talking to myself at this point.

The door slammed which made Camila jump a little and hang her head down.

"What the hell did I do now?"

Camila shook her head and tried to form a believable smile, "Nothing babe. She just has to get away sometimes. It'll be hard for her to do this for the next week though."

"Why's that?"

Camila licked her lips and looked me in the eyes, "Her family doesn't let her run off on them. So, she kinda just sits there with her emotions piling up. I mean, she loves them but they can be a little 'judgemental'."

"How so?"

"You'll see tomorrow. Now, you wanna watch a movie? We used to do that a lot before."

I sighed out, "Did I like the movies?"

In all honesty, the feeling of sitting around a TV isn't my favorite because I've been doing that every day in the hospital.

She shook her head with a smile plastered on my face, "No, but you did it because you love me."

I deeply exhaled, "Fine. Go get a movie."

Camila cheered and got up
to hurry out of the room.

--

We moved in front of the TV and she shared a beanbag with me.

Actually, I was put on the bean bag and she just laid on top of me and cuddled up under a cover. I had no choice but to endure it which wasn't so hard considering she didn't weigh much, smelled nice, and I liked having her body close to me.

Normani walked in and all I saw was a flash. When I looked over, I saw that she had Dinah's Polaroid. The picture came out of the print and Normani smirked at me, "This is cute. Imma just sit it on your desk, baby girl. "

I looked down to see Camila softly sleeping. Her steady breath was a dead give away. I tried to whisper to Mani as good as I could so I wouldn't wake Camila. "How did you know to bring a camera?"

She smiled that famous mischievous Kordei smirk, "Girl. Whenever Lo leaves this house all angry, Camila and you watch a movie. But I never get the chance to take a pic of it but it's cute."

"She's gone?"

Mani's smile faded with a nod, "Guess you gotta learn about it again. It's not really my place to say anything but I know your girlfriends won't tell you shit." She crept over beside the bean bag and cross crossed her legs to turn her body towards me, "When Lauren gets... angry.. she has to leave. I'm not gonna bring up the past but I will tell you that she does this for all of us at this point. You found out where she goes but never told us. So, I guess you gotta find out again."

"Mani please bring me that book over on the desk." I asked her.

She turned her head to look back, "This is a weird time for a story."

"Trust me. I think I'm piecing some type of puzzle that I didn't even know wasn't put together."