Going Nowhere ➳ C.C/L.J

thirteen

I stood in the doorway to see a big room with a desk and chair then on the other side there was a few bean bag chairs. The wall on that side had a huge flat screen TV mounted on it.

Closer to the entry, there was a futon with a quilt that was more than familiar to me.

Amnesia or not, I would know that quilt anywhere. It was something my mom made me.

There was a time when we lived in our car for a few months and my Dad took all of our stuff including blankets. So, for weeks, after work my Mom would sew together old clothes she had that she couldn't wear anymore. We both lost so much weight from not having food that those clothes were so baggy on her. One day after spending my afternoon at the park I came to the car to see a blanket in the backseat. I didn't even notice that she was making that for me.

I hobbled over to the futon to sit beside the quilt. I used all of the power and energy I had to move my
hand to the fabric of the blanket. I softly caressed it with my fingers and a tear dripped out of my duct and slowly slid down my cheek.

"Babe," Camila softly called from behind which made me want to compose my true emotions and bottle them up so they wouldn't think I was any more mentally unstable than I already am. "Does any of this seem familiar?"

I looked over to the back wall once more and thought hard for a moment. A memory came back like a flash which caused my head to hurt a little and that stinging pain shoot up my spine once more, but I didn't think much of it. "That TV. I think."

"What about it?" Lauren asked excitingly.

"I kinda remember fighting with y'all about it. Almost protesting it."

Camila looked to Lauren and smiled, "Well, that's good cause you did. You said 'it's bad enough that I have a stereo in here. I don't want my work space to be an easy distraction'. But we talked you into it."

I nodded and did my best to get up on my feet. I strolled over to the desk to sit down in the big, black, leather rolling chair.

Camila got on my left side and Lauren on the other.

Camila opened my drawer and rummaged through to pull out a journal with a red leather binding. She placed it in front of me and put it down on the desk.

"What the hell is that?" I asked.

She smirked to Lauren, "This is your journal where you would write down all of your thoughts. You let us read it a few times but it was kind of your person place to get out of your head."

"Well if I could open it, I'd read it. Do either of you mind?" I ask.

Camila's eyes shot open, "I-uh, you didn't.."

Lauren grabbed the book from the desk and smirked, "Mila, grab Y/N and take her to the futon to lay down and I'll get us some bean bags."

"Lauren, I don't think-"

Lauren gave Camila a stern look which made the smaller girl frown and pick me up in her arms.

She placed a small kiss on my forehead before laying me down. Lauren dropped two bean bags down and they both plopped in front of me.

Lauren opened the book and cleared her throat, "Let's read May 19th, 2014."

"Why May 19th?" I asked curiously.

She shrugged, "I dunno. It was just the first page it opened to."

She scanned the pages silently which made me annoyed. "Yo, Lo! It's called reading it out loud to the handicap. Not to yourself." I snarkily told her.