CYPHER [BTS 8TH MEMBER]

Love your life✿

2016

"Mam! You have a parcel!"

I looked at the closed door of my house. How many parcel in a day? I'm in my parents house, but alone. They're outside for something while I'm in my house,  wanna take in the air of my house.

The door bell rang again, and I stood up immediately. Opening the door i saw a buy in a black jumpsuit and a cap.

"From whom?" I asked taking the parcel, examining it.

"It's not mentioned" he said.

"Wha-" i looked up but see no one. Weird.

I closed the door and walked to my room, placing the parcel on the desk. It's quite heavy. Curiosity hits me, I started to open the parcel and as I did, a weird smell started to come. A smell which I know before.

I gasped seeing a dead rat inside, blood spattered all over the box and the rat. The rat was inside a packet but the blood was also over the packet. I covered my nose and moved back trying to clear the familiar vision.

It's happening again.

In 2015 also I got many threats like this. Some with blood on my photos. Random calls, telling ne that they'll kill me. Random letters but not a happy one. Death threats and what not.

I didn't told any of the members or my family. Not even Pd Nim. I don't want them to know about this and start to worry.

I closed my eyes tightly, not letting the tears fall down my cheeks. Opening my eyes, i looked at the box. Taking a deep breath i walked over it slowly and that's when I saw my pictures underneath the rat and a letter. No, I will not look at them.

I moved away and exhaled while blinking my tears away. I closed the box and threw it outside on the garbage area with a black packet. I sat back down on my chair, rubbing ny forehead and that's when my ohone started to ring.

I looked at it to see some random number. I slowly took it and put ut on speaker.

"H-hello?"

"Yah! Why did you threw the box?" A girl shouted.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked slowly.

"Huh? Why am i doing this? Bitch listen here, you don't deserve to be in a boy band and that too in BTS. Go to somewhere else. Infact don't be in kpop, you're ugly as fuck." She said.

"I-"

"Don't even speak also, you're rapping and singing are worst. I can't understand how they let you in" she scoffed. "Oh? Now you're crying? Ohh I'm sorry. Little slut."

She started to ramble on and i couldn't do anything but cut the calk and cry over it. Why am i like this? She started ti call again and messaged me. I blocked her number immediately, but she got another phone and messaged me with it.

I sobbed in my chair, curled up. The ringing stopped after a while but i didn't stopped crying.

I looked up at myself in the mirror which stood on the floor.

Standing up i walked over to my bathroom and searched for a particular thing which i did for so many days but was caught.

Taking out the blade from the drawer, i stared at it and was about to cut off my wrist when someone banged the door. Afraid that the toxic fan was there, i didn't do anything and cut off my wirst.

I gasped, the blade falling off my hands. Blood flowed out of my wirst like a wave. I fall down on the floor, groaning over the pain and i heard someone calling me and i was picked up with that my vision went blank.

-----------------
I opened my eyes slowly and immediately closed it when the bright sunlight hit my eyes. After a minute i opened it back.

White ceiling...do i have white ceiling? Oh yeah i might be in heav-

"Y/N!"

I think so not.

I looked at my right to see Hoseok and the maknae lines, their eyes puffed. On my left were Jin and Namjoon.

"Thank god, you're okay!" Jin exclaimed hugging me. I patted his back with my right hand as my left was injured.

"Who am i?" I started to prank them. Yeah. "Who are you?"

"N-noona!" Jungkook exclaimed, his lips pouted.

"Where am i?" I said looking around. I got no answer so i looked around and see them crying. "Guys! I was just joking, sorry!"

"Don't sccare us like that, ever again!" Namjoon sighed.

I chuckled, they shook their head. "But still thought, how am i here?"

"Yo-"

"Oh, you're awake" a voice said. Looking over i saw Yoongi coming with some paper and a white paper bag.

He came towards me, putting down the papers and Bag on the side if the bed, he hugged me immediately and sighed.

I patted his back, again with my left hand. I felt something wet on my neck and he buried his face deeper into my neck. Rubbing his back, i felt another and another.

"Don't ever hurt yourself, please" he said, pulling away, his eyes puffed. "You've been doing this for so many days! Didn't i told you not to?"

"I'm sorry, i just couldn't control myself, they're doing it again and i can't just ignore it"

"So you harm yourself?" Hoseok asked.

"I-" i sighed looking down on the white blanket.

"You don't have to do this, you just have to ignore it, again and again." Namjoon said holding my shoulder.

"How many fucking times?" I snapped looking up at him.

"Until they stop doing it" he said.

"I can't" i shook my head.

"No, no, hey " Yoongi placed his hand in my chin making me look up at him. "You can, and i know you will. You're very strong"

I looked at them. I've ti stop doing this. I'm strong. I nodded.

They let out big smiles and chuckle and envolved me with a group hug.

"Boys, please" a voice said. "Let her breath"

We pulled away to see Pd Nim and our manager.

We bowed to them and they nodded. Pd nim came towards me, placing his hand in the top of my head. "How are you feeling?"

"Better" I smiled.

"Good, you'll not leave the group right?" Manager asked.

"Never" I grinned.

They grinned back and patted my head.

Yoongi hugged me again and whispered in my ear. "I love you"

"I love you too" I whispered back trying to sound more friendly, I know that was a friendly one too.

Maybe.