BLUE BLOOD

49 | this was his idea

Helen shot me a dirty look. "Now that's just a lie."

"I once asked you to crack an egg for me-"

"I did manage to crack it!" she protested.

"You did," I agreed, "But you didn't crack it into the pan, you cracked it to the floor. It wasn't even a clean crack. There were shells. I had to clean the floor after your mess."

"Fine. I admit it," Helen rolled her eyes and lifted the tray. "The chef made this soup, but I'll have you know that I did reheat it."

I shook my head, finding it hard to be more than mildly amused. I was too distracted with everything going on. "Did I miss school?"

Helen stared at me. "It's Saturday."

That slipped my mind. I grumbled, "Just give me the damn soup."

"Not until-"

"What? I give you some answers?" I finished, tiredly. There was no way in hell I would tell her anything. Not until I figured out what she did. "This is no way to treat a patient, Helen."

"I was going to say until you take your medicine, but an explanation for why Kalina disappeared would be great too," Helen responded, lifting an eyebrow. That's when I took another look at her and realized her eyes were swollen and red.

"She visited you, didn't she," I grabbed the warm soup, ignored the medicine, and gulped it as slowly as I could. "Kalina, I mean. She visited you before she left. I guess she changed her mind."

Helen looked out the window of my dorm room, as if she could spot Kalina down on campus, somewhere. "Yeah. Yeah, she did."

"Did you two-" I hesitated, unsure if I should pry. "Reconciliate?"

"I got to apologize to her, but I don't know," she admitted, her eyes heavy with sadness. "But I hope she keeps in touch."

I studied Helen for a long time and realized there was more in her eyes. Longing. "Why are you still here, Helen? You could leave too."

She flinched slightly, as if my words slapped her. "No. I couldn't, even if I wanted to."

She wasn't going to tell me more. Helen is almost unreadable. She caught on to what I was doing long ago.

"Why are you here, Vesper?"

Those five words made my heart leap out of my throat. Suddenly, my voice became very hoarse as I answered carefully, "It was my father's wish to study here."

Helen studied me for a long time. I could tell that she didn't believe a word I said, but she let it go because she knew I'd start prying about her life. 

"Avery spent the night," Helen told me as I brought the bowl of soup to my lips. I stilled for a split second before sipping it. "But he left without another word."

"Really?" I responded, neutrally, suddenly very interested in soup.

"Did something change between the both of you?" Helen asked, her gaze as watchful as ever.

I set the half-finished bowl of soup down. A moment passed before I said, "No. Nothing changed."

"Did something happen?"

"What could have possibly happened, Helen? He cares so much about me," I answered scathingly, almost unable to hide the snippy, sarcastic tone in my voice.

"Right," Helen said, picking up the hint. She handed me the syrupy medicine, in a small cup, and said, "Don't forget your medicine."

I felt Helen's gaze on me as I put the rim of the cup to my lips. For a moment, it occurred to me that Helen was acting strangely. I decided she was probably just shaken up and I was too tired - and too preoccupied thinking about Avery - to think clearly.

After I drank a sip of the medicine, I realized that it tasted off. I set the cup down and stared at Helen, who fidgeted uncomfortably under my gaze. 

I asked her, carefully, while glancing at the medicine, "Where is everyone?"

"What?" she said, but I couldn't help but notice the way her eyes darted quickly. "Oh. They're downstairs."

Suspicion rose in me and a thousand possibilities ran through my mind as I prodded once again. "You know, I was expecting Blake to have showed up by now. I thought he'd lose his shit again after Kalina left."

Now that I thought of it, I was left alone even after Kalina had left a week ago. By all the blue bloods.

Why?

"Well," Helen smiled slightly, but it didn't reach her eyes, "I told him your fever was contagious. He didn't want to catch what you did."

Fever? I had a fever?

I glanced to the clock. It was seven in the morning. Blake never woke up earlier than ten on Saturday mornings, especially after a party like yesterday. Sure, he acted like a good Christian boy on Sundays, which meant he woke up pretty early to get to church, but not Saturdays.

So when did Helen have time to tell him? 

Helen said that she just woke up, long enough to get breakfast for me. Especially if she took care of me all last night here, in the dorms, because Blake was a hundred percent knocked out in the old mansion. 

Whatever it was, Helen Lorani was clearly lying to me. And for once, I could not understand why.

Which one of her statements were lies?

Suddenly, the world started to tilt and my movements became sluggish. I looked to Helen and watched her expression of guilt. My fever intensified.

"The medicine," I said, my voice sounding like it was submerged under water. "You drugged me. You drugged me."

"It won't hurt you, Vesper. I promise. It's just enough for you to be asleep for a few hours. I knew I wouldn't be able to get you to drink the whole thing so its really intense. We just needed you to be asleep for a while-"

I coughed, anger brewing in my chest. "Helen-"

No wonder Avery approached me. No wonder he spent the night and then left. No wonder, because he derailed my mental state with emotional distress.

He manipulated me. I slept with him and he betrayed me.

I let him.

"I'll tell you everything later, I swear I will. They'll hate me, but you deserve to hear it from me-"

Betrayal slapped me in the face. I should have seen this a mile away, but for some reason, I had trusted Helen enough to be comfortable around her. I had hope that she would be different. 

She was just as bad as all of them. Avery was just as bad as all of them.

I trusted him, even when he told me not to.

I clamped her wrist, feeling how cold my body had become. I rasped out, with all the resentment I could muster, "I trusted you."

Her eyes glistened and I wondered for a moment if I was seeing things. Was she... crying? 

"I'm sorry," Helen whispered. "I'm sorry, Vesper. I have to do this. There isn't any other way."

"Why are you doing this to me?" 

Helen stood and started fumbling through my desk. My papers. The bookshelves. The drawers. My eyes started fluttering to close. Searching. She was trying to find something.

"You have it, Vesper. They know you do."

The journal.

Ella's journal.

My only leverage.

"Helen," I gasped, my eyes fluttering shut. I was so tired, so exhausted. "You won't find it. Avery- Avery won't-"

The last thing in my vision was Helen looking at me with pity. 

"This was his idea, Vesper."

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