Hourglass

3 | a fucking mess.

Clifford was in the guest bedroom preparing the bed for Victoria. His facial expression was empty as he spread out a comforter on the bed. After he organised the bed, a large huff escaped his lips.

He figured that the only option was to let her stay the night because she felt unsafe and didn't want to leave. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel worse than what she seemed to be feeling.

When he was done readying the bed, he aimed to leave the room but after turning from the bed he noticed Victoria standing by the doorframe. She had been wandering the house and followed where the sound came from.

He was startled by her creeping up on him, but he didn't show it. She entered the room and looked around.

"This is where you'll be sleeping. There's a heater in the corner in case you still feel cold," he pointed out everything to her, "Goodnight."

He headed for the door.

"I'm sorry, Clifford," Victoria spoke suddenly just as he was about to exit the door.

He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her. He didn't want her to apologise for what happened in the living room.

"You don't have to apologise and you don't owe me an explanation for the question I asked you," he responded.

"No, I mean for everything. Me being here..." she trailed off.

"You were in danger, so it's not your fault."

"You didn't deserve everything I put you through. I was a terrible person for what I did."

He realised her apology was deeper than what he had assumed. He gulped hard and looked off to the side.

She sniffled. It made him look back at her to verify if she was crying. Luckily, she wasn't. It was just the effects of the rain catching up to her.

"That was two years ago..." he dismissed the topic.

"I still fucked you over in the worst way and yet, you're doing this when you could've chased me away," she continued speaking.

"Why would I have done that?"

"Because when we broke up you made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me and that you never wanted to see me again," she explained.

He almost let out some words, but he paused. They didn't have to talk about it. There was no use in talking about the past.

"You should get some sleep. You had a rough night," he clenched his jaw.

"I just want to let it out before I sleep."

"Victoria..."

"Clifford, please," she begged to speak, "I'm sorry. If I had a chance to go back and correct my mistakes, I would've done just that."

"And you're telling me all of this for what?"

He wanted to know the intention behind it. What was it all for? Was talking about something that happened more than twenty-four months ago worth it?

"I'm telling you all this because I never got the chance to give you a proper apology."

He brushed his hand over his face as if to indirectly showed her that he was tired. He just wanted to sleep.

She continued, "That night I wasn't in the right state of mind. I had been going through a lot mentally and emotionally."

"And that's why I was always there for you-" he spoke only for her to cut him off.

"- yes, you were there for me. In every way possible. You were perfect.  I just let my emotions get the best of me. I could've avoided spiralling out of control if I had just gotten help like you told me to," his eyes were very watery.

"Did you eventually get help?" He raised his brow.

"Yes, I did... once I realised I lost you."

"So you didn't do it for yourself?"

"No - I - I did," she stuttered, "Of course, I did it for myself. But I kept you in mind. I thought getting help would fix everything."

"Fix everything? Between you and me?" He pointed between the both of them in confusion.

When she took the time to respond, he let out a scoff. His eyebrows were knitted together and he just stared at her.

"Yes. I didn't want to throw our future away... and the moment you left me it felt like you were throwing it all away. So I was just trying to hold on," she defended, talking with immense emotion. The tears were pouring.

Clifford took offence to her words, "You felt like I was throwing it away!?"

She wiped the tears from her eyes as more continued to flow. The tone in which he spoke to her made her sad - she felt anger radiating off of him.

"How was I the one throwing it away!?" He spoke again.

"You left me," she croaked.

"Because you stepped out on me! On our relationship! What was I supposed to do!? You were a fucking mess, Victoria!"