THE IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE

(Fay) CHAPTER 44

My world is closing up on me, it's depriving my space, my feelings. And leaves nothing but hollow pain.
I am crying over something I never had, I will never have, I can never give.
I'm breaking, and I know, I'm taken Mason right down with me. He's holding me in his arms, like he couldn't all those months ago.
Whispering meaningless promises.
I have lost the ability, to ever give life to a baby. My baby. Our baby. That will never be born.
When Mandy shot me, she did not only took something away from me but from Mason too. I can never give him this part of me. Not anymore.
The sobs won't stop shaking through my body, even after hours of sitting here. I can't stop crying.
I didn't even knew I want a baby that much. I guess, I did never really thought about it. I did never plan to fall in love. Actually, I never even believed in love. I believed love was just another poison of choice, created by the human nature, but I guess I was wrong after all. If a love like mine and Mason exists, it feels like the strongest power ever. Like a warm blanket, finally laying itself above you, when you didn't even realize how cold you were.
But I wanted this for Mason and me. I wanted us to build our own family. I never had one, and the one person, I called my best friend for years, has taken this opportunity away from me.
I can't even take revenge. She's already dead. A bullet in her head. Her lifeless body a memory in my mind.
"Baby, your as cold as ice." Mason rasps, pulling slightly away from me to look into my face. "Should I call a nurse? Are you feeling sick?"
He's so fucking caring, it's breaking my heart a split more.
Silent tears make their trails down my cheeks, and before they can hit the ground, Mason leans in and kisses every single tear away.
And even though my heart is hurting, a warm feeling fills my chest.
"I'm so sorry." I say on a broken whisper.
Masons brows furrow in confusion. "What ever could you be sorry for, beautiful?"
"We will never have a baby together." my throat is tight, my voice a croak. "I can never give you a baby. I am so sorry."
Mason shakes his head, his caramel eyes filling with tears. "Don't ever say that again, Fay. Do never apologize for something you are not the cause for." he brushes another of my tears away, this time with his thumb instead of his soft lips.
"But I-"
"Don't, Fay." it's a warning. And I shut my mouth.
"There are other ways of creating a family." a sad smile touches his lips. "There's a building named after you, with exactly one of those possibilities."
I suck in a sharp breath when I remember what he did for me.
"You want to adopt a baby with me?" I ask, my voice filled with something that feels so much like...hope.
"Of course I would, beautiful." he replies instantly, eyes never leaving mine, as if he needs to read every single emotion in them.
"Even though it wouldn't be...biologically ours?" I ask, feeling so fucking vulnerable.
"Fay." he rasps, my name sounding just like it did all those time before, like a prayer on his lips. "I didn't marry you because you could have one day carried our babies. I married you because of you. And not because I liked the thought of you being pregnant with our baby. I want you. Only ever you. And all your wishes that come along with it."
Just when he's finished talking, I lean forward and press my lips onto his. Not sure wich tears I'm tasting, probably the mix of ours, I lick his lips.
Masons hand grabs the back of my neck, pulling me greedily closer. A groan escapes his throat when our tongues meet. God, I will never get enough of the taste of him. I put both of my hands onto his cheeks, angling his head whenever I want better access to his mouth. Leaning back into the pillows, he follows me, his mouth staying steady on mine. When I want to wrap my legs around his slim waist, I realize there's still a blanket over my downside and hiss in pain, when reality kicks in.
"Fuck. Did I hurt you, beautiful?" Mason asks hoarsely in worry, his eyes searching my face for answers.
My gaze softens. "No, you didn't. I forgot that I was shot, for a moment, and moved in a way that hurt." when his face doesn't lose the concern, I warmly smile at him. "I'm alright, baby. It doesn't hurt anymore."
His eyes catch fire when I call him baby. I've never liked those nicknames, but when he calls me that, something inside me feels like bursting, and the name just now, slipped out of my mouth.
I swallow at his intense gaze. "Mason." I rasp.
His eyes drop to my swollen lips. "Yeah?" his voice is deep and rich, a seduction.
"You look at me like you want to devour me." I say breathless, my cheeks heating.
A playful smile turns to his lips. Amusement shining in his eyes. "Probably because those are my exact desires, Fay."
Fuck. The way he says my name sounds so filthy it should be illegal.
"Are you distracting me?" I ask, my brows arched.
He licks his lips, burning a fire in my chest. "Is it working?"
"Yes."
Dimples.
"Good." and then his mouth crashes onto mine again, catching a moan I can't hold back.
Even though his mouth is a passion onto mine, his body is moving so carefully, trying not to touch any parts of my stomach.
A clicking of the door closing, has us parting like teenagers who just got caught having sex.
My cheeks are on fire. I can't meet the doctors eyes. So I look at Mason instead, he's looking at me with a boyish grin, even though he's quietly laughing at me, he looks fucking adorable. Ugh.
Doctor Steven clears his throat, and reluctantly, my eyes snap to him.
He's smiling. God, I feel so embarrassed. I know I did nothing illegal. I was only kissing my husband, but I just feel so...bared.
And then my eyes fall to the nurse beside him. I don't know her, but judging by Masons face, he already got to know her.
She approaches me, holding her hand out for me to shake. She's a small older lady, looking like the sweetest person on earth.
Probably she has grandkids, who always get a bunch of cookies from her, and when the parents aren't looking, she takes out a bill of dollars, puts them 'secretly' into their hands and whispers with a wink, "do not tell you parents. Buy yourself something nice."
I already love her.
I take her warm hand into mine. "I'm Rose, honey." she introduces herself, laying her second hand above mine. "I'm so relieved you made it." she sends a look into Masons direction. "I don't know what I would have done with him, when you would have lost the fight." she whispers only for me to hear. "He looked devastated at the possibility of losing you, honey." her Bambi eyes connect with mine. "You truly are his saving." her words take me full off guard, and for a moment, I can't do more, than simply stare at her.
But then I smile and say. "It's so nice to meet you, Rose. You're already my favorite person ever."
The clear of a throat has my eyes sliding to Mason's. I roll my eyes and add, "Right after my husband of course."
The room fills with laughter, and after months of being closed up, I finally have the urge to share this joy.
To truly feel this happiness. So I let my smile crack. My teeth on full display.
When my gaze snaps to Mason again, my smile fades, because the way he's looking at me has me losing my breath.
He isn't laughing anymore. His gaze is fixed onto the smile on my face, that slowly melts.
He's looking at me, like he never believed seeing it ever again.
And from this point on, I promise to myself, that I will give him as many real smiles as I can, for the rest of our life's.
But how long will we have, with his psychotic brother looking for us?
Ryan has already taken so much. I want to watch him burn in hell.
Or else, I will make him burn.