It's A Jungle Out There

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

Entering school again is jarring. It feels like every eye is on me, watching my journey from the door to my locker. I wanted to stay at home. I asked Mum if I could skip school and come to the hospital with her but she told me no. That I'm in my last year of school and my grades are what matters. I was annoyed-and I still am-but fighting with my mum is like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall. So here I am, lumbering to my locker like a social piranha. No one dares approach me. No one dares to speak to me.

Except one.

"Is he alright?" Clove asks. It could be misinterpreted as trying to get the latest gossip to spread around but I know Clove like the back of my hand. The way her top lip twitches on the right side and her eyes flicker worriedly. She's genuinely concerned about Peeta.

"He had a heart attack," I explain to her. "It could be months before they let him out of hospital."

"Jesus," Clove mutters, running her fingers through her hair as we make our way to form room. "What was it? Do they know?"

I shake my head. "No, they don't. They're trying to find out though." Besides the fact that the doctors, myself, my mother, and Mr Abernathy now know about Peeta's eating disorder I still feel like it's my job to keep it secret. I'm not letting rumours run wild around the school about him. Especially not about his illness.

"This school is fucked up," Clove declares. "Have I been wearing a sleep mask or something? Has it always been this way here? I mean, for fuck's sake, they couldn't even let them accept a reward without starting a fight!"

"It's our fault," I conclude. "We should have recognized what we were doing earlier than this."

"I can't believe I treated people this way. I almost want to run to the hospital and tell Peeta that I'm sorry." Clove looks at her black sneakers as they slap against the floor with every step she takes. "I want to tell them all that I'm sorry . . . Do you think it's too late?"

I shrug. "I don't know about the others," I say. We stop outside our form room and I take a deep breath to smooth down my nerves. "But Peeta will forgive you."

Clove seems to brighten at this. "Do you think so?" she asks.

I nod firmly. "I know he will."

If he can forgive me-the girl who created the nickname that caused his illness-then he will forgive Clove. Clove never really pushed him or the others that hard. She would insult them behind their back and maybe push them around a little but never to the extent that Glimmer and I did. Out of the three of us, Clove had always been the most level headed. Which is strange because she was always the one who took on the physical fights with people. I'm glad that she wants to change her ways like me. Maybe it's not much but two people retuning themselves will hopefully make the world of difference.

We enter the classroom and I'm immediately bombarded with a million and one questions.

"Is Mellark alive?"

"What exactly happened?"

"Did you see him after he collapsed?"

"Is he dead?"

I wave them all off. They don't care about Peeta. They just want to know to have something to say to their friends. The only people I am going to tell the full story to are his friends at break. The people who would actually care and won't find the first person to gossip to about it. I don't know whether they know about his anorexia but judging upon Finch's reaction, I don't think they do.

I don't need to tell my classmates anything anyway. As soon as the bell rings, Ms Trinket enters with an ashen face. Even with her ridiculous pink make-up she looks glum. She puts her handbag down onto her chair and sits on the edge of her desk. She looks at us solemnly and sighs.