Complicado (Queen of the South, My Season 6)

Part 8 - Apres Ski

Teresa slept a semi sleep, because her distraught state of mind wouldn't be calmed even by a sleeping pill. She would feel her heart beat fast and lieon her back to alleviate the pressure but still failed to fully awake.

When her mind showed her Tony, somehow she knew that he was safe, and she was able to breathe. He was with James! If he was with James, then he must be safe!

She would toss and turn more and then Pote's deep voice would accost her and make her heart palpitate again: "It's courage!" the voice would say. And she wondered what he meant.

She strained her senses to remember until the conversation finally swam back to her mind: "Building this business with decency, it's never been done! They see a soft heart and they think weakness!...I think it's courage!"

Pote! He had stood by her for years. He had killed alongside her just a few months ago to ensure James got out of prison and the family was protected. He was her best, most trusted, loyal friend and his fervent opposition to her present dilemma with helping Marcel financially, was putting an edge between them...and it was killing her.

She had thought Pote had never understood her desire to do business in a less violent way. He had been ready to die for her because he was a blindly loyal man, but as his words "You will have to change to become the person you're supposed to be!" kept circling in her head, she slowly realized he had actually known that her ideas, the ones that James had embraced, would not work, and would only hurt her.

At that moment Teresa knew she was fully awake and that she had pinpointed the source of her internal distress. It was not Marcel's troubles; it was not Tony's recklessness, which had still scared her to death; it was not Kelly Anne's prudence in suggesting the split of the businesses; rather it was the disagreement with Pote.

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Teresa got up and quietly opened the bedroom door.

Were James and Tony back? The chalet seemed awfully quiet. Then the reflection of the flames burning in the fireplace downstairs hit her and she heard the faint noise from the TV. They are back! James must be downstairs! And she tiptoed down the stairs in her bare feet feeling anxious and impatient to see him.

He was sitting on the couch, sipping whisky, watching the cracking fire, the TV was on but was almost muted. All the lights were out, and she knew that when he sat like that, he was in need of recharging.

He sensed her coming down as he half turned to her stretching his arm out. She took it and sat on his lap. Then took his glass from his hand with the intention of taking a sip, but she realized she needed the burn, so she drank it all. James just pulled the bottle up, which he had left at the foot of the couch, and refilled it. Then he switched the TV off and held her tight for a minute.

The flames from fireplace kept licking their silhouettes in the semi darkness as he started massaging her neck and finally said: "You're so tense...just relax!"

"Is he asleep?", she whispered.

"Yes...the shoulder was adjusted...they gave him sleep medication...his German buddy is also fine!" James also caught himself whispering. He consciously skipped the avalanche for now. Let her think they just lost their way skiing.

"Thank God! I was so terrified!" she almost gave in to a shiver.

A minute later she whispered: "Touch me more!", her head bent over his, her lips grazing his hair.

His hand caressed her back and moved to her front: "Talk to me!...It will relax you!"

She took some time until she finally said: "If my actions...end up betraying the family..."