Black and Blue: The Storm

8.

It's my first official week as Jaxson's personal chef and in spite of the weekend I had, and this morning's therapy session, I'm excited to be working. I'm scheduled to come to Jaxson's home on Tuesdays, to prepare his meals for the week, every other Sunday, to cook him a soul food dinner, and any gathering or event that he hosts. A fairly simple job, for a salary that wasn't much less than what I made as a FBI agent.

"You're finished with your videos?" I asked. He shook his head and grabbed his water bottle, "I'm just taking a break, to come politic with you. I have more than enough time to study my opponent." I opened the cabinet and reached for the seasonings, "how'd you get into boxing?" He finished his gulping and sat the water bottle down, "I've been boxing for as long as I can remember. My father enrolled me at this boxing gym in our neighborhood, when I was like four."

I transferred the seasoned Brussels sprouts to a baking sheet, "oh wow! I can only imagine how proud of you he is, mister big shot boxer. It's every parents dream to see their investment in their child pay off."

"He never got the chance to see me make it all make sense. He's been missing for almost four years now." I broke my attention away from the task at hand,  "I'm sorry to hear that. Do you remember where he was last seen?" I cursed myself for the intrusive line of questioning. I'd worked countless missing persons cases and our starting point was always their last known location. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to ask you that," I grabbed the baking sheet and scurried to the oven.

"It doesn't really matter when or where he was last seen, he's dead." I looked over my shoulder to find Jaxson's eyes fixated on me. I wanted to say something inspirational, but there was no point. I knew all too well that the odds of finding a missing person alive after seventy-two hours was significantly diminished, so finding one alive after four years would be a blessing only God could grant.

"You want to know what's even more fucked up than my father being dead?" I shifted my body and rested against the counter, "what's that?"

He ran his tongue over his lips, "my father was a good man.  Him and my mother had me when they were only fifteen, and from the time that I was born, that muthafucka didn't miss not one beat when it came to me. I grew up with that man, so our relationship was deeper than just father and son. That was my dawg! If I was rocking, he was rolling," he smiled and it vanished just as quickly as it had come. "My father had a cousin he was real tight with. They were inseparable, up until they went down two different paths, but the love was still the same. His cousin got mixed up in some shit and my father just couldn't turn down an opportunity to save him."

Jaxson looked off to the side, "I told him not to get out of the fucking car that night. Begged him, even. He said, I'll be right back, kid, I just need to check this out. I watched him exit the car and I never saw him get back in. I waited there until the sun came up, my mind racing with thoughts of how he would have ever been in that predicament, if we hadn't went out for my nineteenth birthday." A tear broke loose and he hurriedly wiped away any trace of its existence.

"Don't place that burden on yourself. It's not fair to you. One thing about life and God's work is that, we don't know always know why things go the way that they do, or why bad things happen to good people. I've seen babies, the most innocent beings, have the most unimaginable and heinous things done to them, and til this day, I don't understand it. I had to learn that God's will wasn't for me to question nor comprehend, and that I had to trust that everything he orchestrates doesn't go without purpose. I can't give you any comforting word, because I don't think there are in, contrary to popular belief. What I can say is that, you have the strongest motivating force behind you. Use that, and do good within this world with it."

He dropped his head and nodded, before bringing it back up, "do you always give this good of advice?" I chuckled and turned around to grab the oven mitt, "apparently, I give sound advice to everyone except myself," I opened the oven and bent down, giving the baking sheet a swirl, "ain't that some shit?" I sprung upright and turned to face Jaxson, my hand flinging to the my mouth, "I'm sorry! That was so unprofessional of me. It won't happen again, I assure you."