Black and Blue: The Storm

12.

Sunday,
August 4th, 2017
11:24 AM

Nyla B.

"Me and mommy stay at hotel with a big pool, daddy! And my titi bring True and bring Nuna to swim with me today."

I glanced at Eliana's reflection in the mirror, while the pad of my fingers continued to work in a circular motion, embedding the serum into the pores of my skin. She sat atop of the toilet seat, dangling her legs and wearing a smile that showcased her single dimple. "Oh, yeah?" Elijah's baritone led from the iPad. "Can you take your iPad to a window and show daddy the outside, baby?" Eliana nodded her head, but before she could get down from the toilet, I quickly retrieved the device from her hands, "stay right there, Mootie."

I scurried out of the bathroom, brisk steps to an area outside of Eliana's range following. I pulled the door open and shifted the swing bar latch, the door clanking against the metal as I stepped into the hallway. Having brought Elijah into view, my brows immediately flew inward, "what you're not going to do is try to manipulate a three-year-old for your own gain. I'll squash all of this shit!"

His brows were nearly connected, merely interrupted by tiny frown lines, "you take off with the baby as soon as I fall asleep, to which I have no idea how you're traveling or where you're traveling to at four o'clock in the muthafuckin' morning, and you want to talk about manipulation, knowing that would piss me the fuck off?"

My steps trailed further from the door and the anger of his audacity influencing my tone, "I don't give a damn about you being pissed off. I came with my daughter, at your demand, and I took her with me when my time was up, because that was the whole purpose of you dragging me here, right," I cocked my head to the side, "because you didn't think she'd want to stay with you, without me?"

He hauled his hand down his face and released an exhausting sigh, "tell me where to pick you up from, mama." My face balled into a scrunch and I shook my head, "no. I'm not going anywhere with you. I'll meet you somewhere this evening to exchange Eliana, so you can continue your weekend with your children, but that's it."

Hunched over, he bore down into the phone, "this is the part where I become the dickhead, yeah? Because I refuse to accept what it is you're offering?" He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes, "because I meant it when I told you, not having any ties to you was the only way I'd ever be okay with being without you, no matter how insufferable it was?" His penetrating gaze intensified, "and because I'm keeping you, in spite of your objection, because you're clutching my rib, yes?"

Fury brewed within me, calling for a congregation of tears and glossy eyes, "are you mentally ill? In what fantasy world do you live in, that you think I'm going to sit back and allow you to mistreat me and crush my spirit, time and time again, for the sake of a baby I've raised or a piece of love that drains me fucking empty? Like, what is this to you, Elijah? A game of predator versus prey?"

He brought the phone closer, a scowl and protruding neck vein on full display, "what the fuck you mean, prey on you?" He drew the phone back, his countenance established in a frustration, "you don't think I'm bothered by the shit we've been going through," he questioned, while tapping his fingertips against his temple. "Li-like I get a kick out of seeing and knowing where you're hurting at? Like I don't love the shit out of you?"

He furrowed his brows, "and while I do, I have never had to love you in this capacity, Nyla. A capacity where everything is just as familiar as it was four years ago—the love, the infatuation, the adoration... and the deceit." his eyes traveled back and forth between mine. "I have never had to look at you and see anything other than purity in your eyes or had to taste your mouth and question all of the love it spoke into me and on me, and it fucks with me." He continued, "shit gets ugly when you're trying to mend what was broken in the most detrimental way, but I'm trying."