is everyone right about you?

chapter five

Point of view Connor

I'm in Tristan's room i'm drawing something for him i'm supposed to help some girls doing the laundry but they are mean to me and beating me without a reason they always ask about my parents and my love life and when I say I don't want to answer that they beat me and call me fat and ugly, I'm already insecure about my body and Tristan took away what I really love like friends and school so I pretty much hate my life I can't leave the room if it isn't for food or the job.

"Hey why are you here and not with the girls? I thought we were clear to you Connor" Tristan says "I just need a few minutes to clear my head i'm sorry I should've asked you instead of just leaving" I look him in the eyes he can't know i'm lying if he knows I'm fucked "you know when there is something else you can talk to me" Tristan says "I know and I will but it's seriously only to empty my mind" he gives me a kiss and closes the door he's quite romantic for a rapist though.

I get another color i'm drawing him flowers they look pretty realistic i'm kinda hungry but who gives a shit about that eating is for getting fatter and I don't want that I look around the room I really want to smoke right now or have some alcohol that isn't a good idea but I can't cut myself so I need another way to numb the pain I get Tristan's pocket knife I open it and cut myself for a couple of reasons I have around ten new cuts and I'm not done I want another twenty cuts on my arm.

"What the fuck Connor? Why did you lie to me? Why the fuck did you do this" Tristan asks "I'm sorry I'm just so scared about all this and then them I felt useless" he gets some band-aids cleans my cuts he looks really mad at me I made eleven cuts and then he stopped me "eat something that will make you feel better love, why do you feel useless? What did they say?" Tristan asks "I don't want to eat and I'm always on my own it's heavy alot of things" he looks really furious at me.

"Like what? What do you mean by on your own?" Tristan asks "my parents always hurted me by everything I did didn't matter if it was right or wrong I ranaway and got myself in this mess they beat me or say things like I'm fat or ask about my past and call me other mean things if I don't want to tell them" he gets up and says i'll fix that with the girls you'll eat something I don't care if it's small or big or take a bite please eat something, I nod I can't eat he knows that.