Take Your Time

Chapter 25

McKenna chuckles and is about to speak but Peyton beats her to it. "No. This is McKenna and Caitlin. They are just old friends."

Introduce me to her, say I'm just an old friend

"I told you that you would need that shot." McKenna picks it back up from the bar table and hands it to me. "Drink up sweetie, it will help."

Peyton raises a brow. "How have you been?"

Her eyes are on me which makes me assume she is asking me not the both of us.

"I'm doing fine." I lie as I put the shot glass to my lips and tip my head back. "I'll take another." I turn to the bartender. "Stat!"

"Are you sure you should be drinking?" Peyton questions.

I don't answer as I take the next shot.

I take another shot, need the Novocaine Wish it would numb my heart, way it numbs my brain

I was hoping Peyton and her girlfriend would go their own way but McKenna suggested we all go to a table to catch up.

I wanted to kill her. She should know this isn't what I want. It's probably written all over my face. Instead of protesting I will just rack up a hefty bill on her tab.

The conversation flows. There are "laughs" and "smiles" from the three girls, but me. All is supposedly love but I don't feel it. I can't pretend so I just keep quiet. My mind starts drifting as my vision blurs.

But it's all love I don't feel it, but it's all love

I don't know how long I have been zoning them out, but my attention zones back in when I realize McKenna isn't currently at the table. I look across the table where Peyton is kissing on her girlfriend's neck. She has a look in her eyes that she could care less about me sitting here and only care about the girl she is with.

The way you kiss on her neck with that look in your eyes Do it right in front of me kind makes me want to die

I start to stand up when McKenna returns. "Where are you off too?"

"Away from here." I say through gritted teeth. "I know this is supposed to be all happy so I am removing myself from the equation."

But it's all love I hate the feeling but it's all love

I go up to the bar and take a seat on a stool.

"Another shot?"

I nod. "Yes please and a rum and coke."

"Do you think that is smart?" A voice I didn't want to hear. If I ignore her she will leave. "Caitlin?" Peytons voice pleaded for me to turn towards her.

I wait for my drink and turn around with the rum and coke in my hand. "What do you want?" I say coldly.

"I am concerned about you." Peyton gives me a sad expression.

I roll my eyes. "You don't need to be concerned about me. Go be with your girlfriend. Forget that I am here."

"Why are you acting like this?" Peyton narrows her eyes. "I did nothing to you."

I couldn't roll my eyes enough. "You are clearly rubbing that girl in my face."

"Serious? Why does it matter if I have a girlfriend and what I do with her?" Peyton questions. "If I recall, we never dated! You didn't want to go there."

I down my drink. "Whatever you say Peyton."

"It's true! We won our final four games to go to the championship and you won the bet. You came to my room that night and said you just can't."

I shake my head. I don't want to think about this.

"You are right. Let's forget about the past." I turned to the bartender and pointed at my drink telling him I wanted another even though I still have a shot.

"Is that how you cope?" Her hand touches my shoulder. "Are you forgetting about the past? Are you sure you should keep drinking whatever the hell is in your cup?"

Should we forget about the past, is that how you cope should we Drink a little more of that rum and coke

"We don't have a past." I knocked her hand off me. "I was just one of those soccer hoes."

Peyton looks hurt. "You could never let that go could you? Sometimes I don't know why I even fell for you."

"Clearly you fell for me for my looks considering that girl looks like me." I don't know why I said that. I don't know why I am acting like this. I don't know how to be. I never knew how to be around Peyton.

I don't know how to be when she looks a bit like me

"I thought you said you were doing fine."

I grab the shot and down it. "Clearly I was fucking lying. I haven't been fine since high school."

"Why?" Peyton won't go away.

My head is spinning and I want to pass out. "Because of you Peyton. I should have come to your room that night. I should have kissed you. I should have told you how much I wanted to be with you! I was going to but then I got scared. You answered the door and all my walls went up again. I should have kissed you."

"Then do it." She looks me straight in the eyes. "Come to my door and kiss me, don't run."

"What?" I feel so light headed.

I try keeping eye contact with her but my eyes start to close and my balance goes. I start to fall backwards.

*real time*

I shoot up breathing heavily.