#WitchcraftWednesday || ONC 2023 | ✔

Chapter 12: The Stuff of Mugshots

Nathan lets Jamie get Veronika up to speed alone; he won't show his face, not now, how is he supposed to survive that? He just stands and he waits and he takes up one of Nikulasson's spears, absent-mindedly breaking it into dozens of tiny pieces that leave splinters in his fingers. Once Jamie, Veronika and Jinx resurface again, he notices Nikulasson doesn't move to attack the scholar. The bishop only watches her as she moves along the path with her cat on her way home, out of harm's way for now. Nathan says his goodbyes to the undead man, Jamie promises they'll check in on him before they leave for Iceland, and then they follow Veronika and Jinx at a respectable distance, staying carefully out of earshot.

Jamie still has the book. She holds it out to him. "Here. As far as I'm concerned, it's yours."

Nathan looks at the tome with its blood-red cover. "Maybe you should keep it instead," he suggests quietly. "You know there are people after me who want this. Dangerous people. They'd find me far easier than you. They don't even know where you live. So maybe you could hide it somewhere, keep it safe." Because keeping it safe has become an even higher priority now-should Derek take it, the plan they just concocted fails. They won't even live to make it to Iceland, then.

"No."

Such a simple, curt answer. It catches Nathan off-guard. Jamie has a talent for doing that.

"What do you mean? I'm serious. I trust you with the... the grimoire, or whatever you call it."

She looks into his eyes now and that darkness returns to her own, clouding over ditchwater green. "If you give the book to me now, I'm going to have serious second thoughts about something very important, and if that happens, I'm going to betray that trust of yours, and Nikulasson's, and Veronika's. And I really don't want to do that. So take the book. Please."

It's vulnerable, sincere, so Nathan takes the book from her instinctively, putting it back in his bag. Is she talking about that video solution she mentioned? He wants to ask, but keeps his mouth shut. She undoubtedly wants to talk about his red flags now. Asking about her would make it look like he's avoiding the subject.

He doesn't even know where to start explaining his miserable life, so he waits for Jamie to inquire. After a brief silence, she does, though still not in the way he'd expect.

"You know, I had my suspicions," she begins, "but I figured you'd eventually explain yourself without me having to pry. And I understand why you didn't say you're a drug dealer, because it's illegal and we only met days ago and it's not something you'd tell just anyone. But I would've liked to know the book got you into dangerous trouble." She figured that out, even without the full context; she must recall his busted face, the Bookers in their Chevrolet, Derek waving in a parking lot with drops of blood on his sleeve. "Because as I said, I'm involved, and maybe I could've helped you."

Hearing that stings, because it's not like Nathan didn't inform her without good reason. His struggle with Derek is his mess, his potentially lethal, very personal mess, and minimizing Jamie's involvement in it would've kept her safe. How was he to know that tactic would backfire? And maybe it was pleasant for once, interacting with someone without being judged for his awful life choices, without having to think about them at all, and maybe he just wanted that to last a little longer. Jamie Carrera can't possibly understand that.

Never mind that she's right. It stings, and Nathan feels cornered.

Cornered animals always lash out.

"I didn't tell you. Much like you didn't tell me about your six million subscribers, right?"

It's venomous and petty and everything he shouldn't say. She'll probably hate him for bringing it up. But wouldn't that be a good thing, in some fucked-up way? People who hate him leave, and if she leaves, she doesn't get hurt. It's not like they wouldn't go their separate ways after this is all over, anyway.