Shatter Me (LokixReader)

Chapter 11

A heavy silence settles over the room, and I stare at him. "Why would you do that when you know the consequences! Hundreds of people will die! Many more will get badly injured!" I rage and curl my fingers around the edge of the table. I sense his guilt, but I don't have sympathy for him. "I never defused a bomb! Why didn't you deny his request?" I know I'm being irrational, but I cannothelp it. I'm angry. I'm angry at myself for falling for Aiden. I'm angry at him for endangering so many people, I'm angry at Tony, Steve, and the others for not having my problems, and I'm still angry at Loki.

"Have you ever denied Aiden a request?" He asks. "That's not - "Have you?" He slightly raises his voice. "Do you know what he does to those that deny his requests? Have you ever felt the pain? Physically? Mentally?" "I- " "He breaks you into pieces and then makes you do it anyway. You. Have. No. Choice. He would have killed me otherwise."

"I would rather die!" I spit. "And have someone else do it instead?" He laughs, but there's no joy in the rough sound that sounds more like barking than like laughing. "Why would I let someone else build the bomb, hen I can prevent the worst when someone else would have had fun seeing the chaos it will cause? I can tell you how to diffuse the bomb and make it seem like I made an error whilst constructing it. Aiden won't punish you. He'll come for me, but that shouldn't be your concern. I can handle it."

My anger suddenly subsides. "What's the plan?" I ask. He seems relieved that I finally listen to him and starts explaining. I listen carefully when he explains what to do , and my mood keeps on getting better. "Seems like a pretty good plan!" I tell him when he ends and lean back in my chair, but hurry to sit straight again when the thing in my back pulses against the chair, which causes unpleasant vibrations near my spine.

"So, I'll defuse the bomb and wait for Aiden's instruction to place it. I'll loosen the black wire and set the timer and just run off to wait for Aiden to call me." I pause. "And I still don't know how you know my name." He gives me a thumbs up to signal that I got the plan right. He then opens his mouth to talk, when suddenly his phone rings. He takes a look at the display , and his face darkens instantly when he sees the caller's name. "Quick, leave." He whispers and turns away. Confused ,  get up, take my stuff , and hurry towards the exit of the small café.

On my way to the door, I hear Caden take the call. "Hi, Aiden." I reach the handle. "No, I'm alone. You've successfully unalived my last girlfriend. Do you remember?" I freeze. What the hell?! The door slams shut behind me , and the loud noise startles me. I start running towards the Avengers tower. When I feel the uncomfortable buzzing on my spine stop, I slow down. That was a crazy day.

"Y/n, where's Thor?" Loki asks when I leave the elevator. Instead of answering ,  march past him and ignore him. My hands get clammy , and my heart rate increases when passing him, but I manage to keep my hands from shaking. I never felt so frightened in Loki's presence. I used to feel safe and welcome. He was a person I loved spending time with, a safe place. Now , here's only fear, anger, and disappointment.

"Y/n, I'm talking to you!" He stresses as I keep on walking toward my room. "I noticed, but I don't wish to talk to you." I hear him huff in annoyance and roll my eyes when I hear his steps following me. My heart rate increases , and so does my pace. Shit. I'm alone with him. No one else is here to save me. "Y/n!" He calls , and I can hear his annoyance turn to anger. Shit. Shit shit shit.

I have almost reached the door to my quarters when Loki's hand grabs my shoulder and roughly turns me around , o I'm facing him. "Where is Thor?" He asks again. The words slip past his clenched teeth and produce a hissing sound that underlines his anger. I slap his hand in order to get him to let go, but he doesn't. Turning to him and staring back into his eyes that seem strangely blue, I yank out the knife from my pocket. "Thor's whereabouts are none of your business!"

He smirks at the knife and doesn't move a finger off me. But his grip relaxes a little , and the anger vanishes from his eyes, making them seem a little greener. "I never wished to hurt you..." He trails off. "I wish to apologi-" "Fuck off, Loki." I calmly tell him before yanking my shoulder out of his grip and slamming my door in his face.

Taking off my shoes and my jacket I notice that I'm thirsty and wander into my kitchen, where I take a random bottle of water and take some large sips, before continuing my journey to my bedroom. I sigh before kneeling in front of my dresser and pulling out the bottom drawer. I freeze. Where is the case? Frantically digging through a pile of neatly folded socks, I start cursing. It's gone.

Maybe I searched in the wrong drawer? I close it and open the next one, dig through it, and repeat it with all my drawers. Within seconds I reach the last one, and I'm almost crying. How can one lose a bomb?! I know that it cannot be in the last drawer, but I open it anyway and search every corner. I'm in shock and it doesn't get better, when I hear a very familiar voice chuckling behind me. "Didn't find what you were looking for, darling?"

"Get out!" I hiss. "Not without you." I turn around and find him lying on my bed with his arms crossed behind his head. A smirk is lingering on his lips and he seems to be laying there for quite some time. Why didn't I notice him? "I didn't want to be noticed." He replies to my thoughts, shocking me even further. "How do I know?" He asks and lets out a dry laugh. "Stark told me when I contacted him. I was pretty sure you'd run away again when you'd noticed me being in your quarters after what's happened. Must have been funny to explore my mind without me noticing."

He seems pissed at the fact that he didn't notice I could sense his emotions and therefore consider his actions and reactions to certain things. "Well, that's over now." Loki tells me, but somehow I have trouble following his words. "Hm?" Loki suddenly sits up and looks at me intrigued. "Interesting. I thought it would take longer."

He strolls over to me and kneels beside me. "What did you do?" I whisper, fear filling my mind once again together with a quickly rising dizziness. "Doctor's orders." He whispers into my ear when he pulls me against him as my muscles start to unwillingly relax and won't hold me up any longer.

"Why?" I manage to whisper back. "I found a bomb in your room and when I contacted Stark, he asked Dr. Banner for something to temporarily knock you out. I put it in your water, but I expected it to take longer to kick in. Well, you're mortal after all. No wonder it works this fast."

I start to fight the black nothingness that is hunting me, threatening to take over my mind. My breathing gets labored as my eyes flutter closed. I feel Loki's finger drawing little circles up and down my spine. "Shhh." He soothes. I try to open my eyes, to move any part of my body, but I can't. A soft whimper escapes my lips and I can feel Loki moving a strand of hair out of my face. "Shh." He whispers again.

Finally, I can't withstand the darkness pulling me down. The last remnants of my consciousness fade and the last words I hear before the darkness takes me away is a soft, gentle whisper from Loki, resonating with a multitude of emotions. "I'm sorry. For everything."