Bucky Barnes X Y/n: I hate you, I love you

Chapter 51

'A book won't teach you anything', I said and put out my hand to her, which makes her stare at it and then me, 'what', she asks.

'I'm going to teach you how to dance', I reply and when I see her contemplating it, she holds my hand, whilst I take the other and put it on my shoulder, then put my own on her waist and draw her closer.

'Ready', I said and see her cheeks go pink again, 'yeah', she says, nervously and I take a step back, 'we don't have to do it if you don't want to', I said and she shakes her head, 'No, no, it's okay, I want to', she says and I nod.

When I take a step, she follows the process, but stands on my foot and I smile, 'sorry', she says and I chuckle a little, 'when I step forward you step back', I tell her and when she nods, I move forward and she does it, 'same again', I instruct and she falls into step with me.

'That's...', I begin when she steps on me again, 'ugh', she sighs and I know she's becoming frustrated, 'this is pointless', she mutters to herself and I shake my head, 'this is only your first lesson, you'll get better', I said and watch her nod, 'I'm trying to, Bucky made a deal with me, so I'm not about to lose to him', she says and I laugh to myself, 'He's harmless, he won't hold it against you if you lose', I said and watch her nod, whatever the deal is, I'm sure he won't.

'That's not really reassuring, but okay', she says and I chuckle before I know it, 'He's my best friend, I know him more then anyone, we went through thick and thin together', I said.

'Like', she asked and looks up at me, 'the war, losing him from a moving train, finding out he was alive after all that time', I begin and watch her nod, 'yeah, I read about it and know all about it', she said, 'I learnt about you too, the serum, how you became you, the war, how you helped saved everyone', she listed and I listened, '...I was actually working on a secret project for Y/n and Oscar, to find you, I almost did, but it led to different outcomes and I wasn't able to see if I was right and save you', she says and I'm surprised.

'You tried to look for me', I said and she nods yet again, 'Mmm, so you would help us with Hydra, and we didn't need to go through it alone', she answered and I begin to understand, 'I would have helped you', I said and she smiles, 'I know', she says.

'This must be all so weird for you, I read how you woke up, so it must have been weird you to wake up in a new world'.

'It is, I woke up, and the world was different, there we're new threats, new enemies, more violence, and it took me so much time to adjust, honestly I'm still adjusting but from one fight to another, I didn't get a chance to take it all in first, to take in where I was, to learn to adapt to society quickly and to learn the new ways, it was so different and chaotic, I wasn't able to stand still and take in where I am', I reply, honestly.

That was nice to get of my chest, to reply to something without being judged for it and for someone to hopefully see it how I see it, 'I understand', she says and I'm looking down at her, 'this is all new for me too, it's different, Y/n's learning to adjust too, Oscar's already learnt to live through it all, but it feels like I'm born again, and I need to...', she begins until I interrupt her, 'start again', I finish and our eyes meet, 'yeah', she sighs, 'exactly', she says.

'All of its new, I have to learn to adjust, Y/n's teaching me everything she's learnt, but I don't want to get in her way, she sacrificed her life for everyone, for the people that both know and don't know what she put herself through, and she made it through the fire still intact and putting herself through a future I know she deserves, so I don't want her to stop for me, or anyone, she deserves to be happy now', she says and I'm internally agreeing.

She's right, from everything I have seen from Y/n, she's given up more of her life then anyone I know, she sacrificed herself more ways then one and protected those she loved, so I know that she is one of the people I know that deserves her happiness now, she deserves to move past what she's been put through and give the mantle onto someone else, a new set of superhero's to rise up and take down our enemies when we aren't able to.